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To whomever pranked me and put a piece of broccoli in my KFC Double Down sandwich: I'm going to find you and you will pay.
Your momma's so homely, she wears a nightgown for an evening dress (This dis is for the Berenstain Bears only).
Song "I Left My Heart in San Francisco" celebrated its 50h abniversary, meaning at this point, the heart must have some sweet rent control.
.@oaklandlayover presents no cover women's comedy showcase 2nt sponsored by @Feelmore510 hosted by @mellyobrien http://t.co/cHI1K3bb #DTO
RT @OJPATTERSON: Apparently Twitter support people being "That guy" at concerts http://twitter.com/OJPATTE...
In Ferris Bueller's Day Off, if Cameron's dad was such a dick, how come he had a nice car?
The twist ending to Safe House is that there is no safe in the house.
Lana Del Rey Performs at SF Amoeba Records [video]: http://sfist.com/2012... Makes locals nostalgic for the time Amoeba was a loud bowling alley
Why things are so good, when I asked for a happy ending, the message therapist gave me a mansion and a million dollars. Good, I tell you.
Why things are so bad the WalMart greeter asked me for spare change. Bad, I tell you.
Horses scare me. OK, 1 horse scares me. When I'm sleeping, this horse sneaks into my room with a sheet over his head and then he yells, Boo!
RT @SFstandup: Wanna read the shittiest article ever written about a new comedy club opening? http://theorion.com/enterta...
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