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Happy Valentine's Day! Hope you're enjoying your flowers, or chocolates, or smug self-satisfaction at not celebrating Valentine's Day.
adf, Ross Miller, Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life) and 2 other people liked this
#smug
- Eric
Newt Gingrich is a family values candidate. He values families so much, he's had three! #preparethem
Louis Gray, T-Bone Tsali, FF Cherokee, Egon Willighagen and 3 other people liked this
Only in the USA people care about that... they cannot live up to their own expectations, but judge others if they don't...
- Egon Willighagen
Figured out how to monetize cat-breading: Add dog-baguetteing. I'm gonna make a fortune!
Great. Now I can't get Newt's version of "Eye of the Tiger" out of my head. I'll be humming about the Founders' faith all night.
Tonight, I disclose the hard numbers on my SuperPac. Here's a preview: 4.
Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney have combined into a Frankenstein creature named Nitt Romgrich. It cries coconut milk. #preparethem
Mitt Romney is electric! In that it's very possible he's powered by a 12-volt battery. #preparethem
Newt Gingrich married his High School Math Teacher. Not a #preparethem tweet, just true.
Mitt Romney has the sense of humor of a brick in a washing machine, just not the rhythm. #preparethem
Newt Gingrich is actually the Michelin Man with a coat of peach paint and a wig. #preparethem.
Mitt Romney's favorite Star Wars movie is: all six of them are pretty good, which one do you like? That's his favorite too! #preparethem
Newt Gingrich will stick with this campaign until the convention...unless his publisher stops selling his book. #preparethem
Mitt is concerned about the very poor in this country--specifically, that they might get their germs on him. #preparethem
Andrew C (✓), Spidra Webster and Bren liked this
Mitt Romney will make an absolutely fearless Commander-in-Chief, because fear is a human emotion. #preparethem
Joe The Sausage, Kristin, Bren and <3Heather<3 liked this
Newt has as much chance becoming president as he does mayor of his moon base. Actually, moon base mayor is far more likely. #preparethem
John (bird whisperer) and <3Heather<3 liked this
Mitt Romney does not want to fire you, unless it is absolutely, positively possible. Romney 2012! #preparethem
Brent, John (bird whisperer) and <3Heather<3 liked this
No one should question Newt's moral character. Especially since the answers will haunt your dreams. Newt 2012! #preparethem
Mitt Romney is not a vulture capitalist. Vultures only eat things that are dead. Romney 2012! #preparethem
Jeff (Team マクダジ ), John (bird whisperer), WarLord and Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life) liked this
Newt's only hope for your vote is if you've been in a coma for 20 years. And if you have, he probably divorced you. Newt 2012! #preparethem
vicster, Jeff (Team マクダジ ), John (bird whisperer) and 2 other people liked this
Sometimes Sarah Palin confuses Rage Against the Machine with their conservative counterparts Obey the Machine.
Awwwwww shucky ducky! It's as much fun to type as it is to shucky duck!
Tonight, my guest Björk's new album combines music and science. When Thomas Dolby tried this, he was tragically blinded.
Moody (Sweet FA 4 Life) liked this
If those explosives-detecting dolphins are so smart, how come they've never found a land mine?
ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!) and <3Heather<3 liked this
Is it weird that when Jon was hanging upside down, I wanted him to wear a Spiderman mask and call me Mary Jane?
<3Heather<3 and Bren liked this
Send my SuperPAC hostage $ care packages! Seriously the Ben Franklins have started to eat the Alexander Hamiltons http://colbertsuperpac.com
Jon Stewart stole my Super PAC, Donate now and write how angry you are on the check's memo line! http://colbertsuperpac.com
<3Heather<3 liked this
I want to give a Shout Out to Middlebury College, specifically the Half Years and the Coffrin Tales! Enjoy your points.
Working over 11 hrs/day doubles your risk of depression. But when you work in TV, that's a sacrifice you have to have Jay the Intern make.
ωαřмaiden ☆TeamOtto☆ liked this
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