Sign in or Join FriendFeed
FriendFeed is the easiest way to share online. Learn more »
Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert

Unofficial, but his tweets are too funny not to share.
Twitter
An unmanned drone was spotted over Brooklyn. Apparently, it couldn't afford to fly over Manhattan.
2NITE: My guest @JamesFrancoTV was in SPIDER-MAN & 127 HOURS. If the interview goes poorly, I'll hack off my arm & run away. TCR, 11:30pm
More guns always = more safety! Just like more alcohol always = better dancing.
Using a speechwriter is weak. Bush just threw Magnetic Poetry at a fridge. I loved when he said "The state of our union is enormous acumen."
TONIGHT: "As of 8 p.m. Central Vatican Time, we are officially Pope-less. We have undergone a Pope-endectomy." @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m.
The Harlem Globetrotters visited North Korea. Apparently, Pyongyang had a rash of cartoon ghost mysteries.
Happy Cinqo De Mayo! (I have no idea when/what that is--I don't speak Spanish. Just trying to court some Latinos.)
Colbert secret: this is my #1 source of news: https://twitter.com/Stephen...
It'll be a cold day in Hell when Texas swings for Democrats. Temperatures in Texas, however, will remain at standard Hell levels.
The Pope only has two days left in office. I bet he's got a serious case of Monsignoritis.
2NITE: My guest, Michio Kaku, says an asteroid could destroy Earth. On the plus side, that asteroid would be totally wiped out! TCR, 11:30pm
All these Vatican scandals make me wish for the uncontroversial good old days of Inquisitions and Crusades.
TONIGHT: "We all know Hollywood doesn't reward torture films. If they did, the winner would've been BATTLESHIP." @ColbertReport, 11:30 p.m.
Regained control of my Twitter feed. Turns out, I wasn't hacked by VH1 Classic. I was hacked by Burger King!
Watched videos from Berlin, Asia, Chicago. Still can't find my luggage, thinking maybe Toto took it to Kansas. #VH1ClassicHack
How many times can you watch Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract" and not go insane? Find out on TOTALLY 80s @ 9am! #VH1ClassicHack
The future's so bright I gotta wear shades. Also due to a nasty case of pink-eye. #VH1ClassicHack
Is it normal if your Pop-Up Video lasts for more than 4 hours? #VH1ClassicHack
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Nope! It's a network playing the hits of the 70s-80s-90s & years in between! #VH1ClassicHack
Due to their advanced age, Bad Company now just feels like making soup. #VH1ClassicHack
Allow me to pose one of life's eternal questions: Which came first, the Ashford or the Simpson? #VH1classichack
Uh-oh. Just got some sugar poured on me. #Ilovehearingimpairedjunglecats #VH1ClassicHack
Ricky Martin missed the express train, so he's Livin' la Vida Local! #VH1ClassicHack
Styx and the Stones may break my bones, but who cares?! Crank it up and rip off the knob! #VH1ClassicHack
Just figured out what Alanis Morissette was talking about in "You Oughtta Know!" #blushing #VH1ClassicHack
Finally found out the one thing Meat Loaf won't do for love! Now how can I UN-find it out? #itinvolvestheloaf #VH1ClassicHack
VH1 Classic: All music, all the time...plus reruns of MARRIED WITH CHILDREN. #VH1ClassicHack
What's so bad about horsemeat? My staff gets catered horsemeat every day and none of them complain. Also, staff, you're eating horsemeat.
Pittsburgh is seeking a federal grant to purchase a hovercraft. In other news, I'm seeking a federal grant to purchase a hovercraft.
Office Max and Office Depot are going to merge. I believe they're going to be called "Max Depot."
Other ways to read this feed:Feed readerFacebook