Seth Anderson

"Behold, the ongoing, increasingly startling research: homosexual and bisexual behavior, it turns out, is rampant in the animal kingdom. And by rampant, I mean proving to be damn near universal, commonplace across all species everywhere, existing for myriad reasons ranging from pure survival and procreative influence, right on over to pure pleasure, co-parenting, giddy screeching multiple monkey orgasm, even love, and a few dozen other potential explanations science hasn't quite figured out yet. Imagine. Are you thinking, why sure, everyone knows about those sex-crazed dolphins and those superslut bonobo monkeys and the few other godless creatures like them, the sea turtles and the weird sheep and such, creatures who obviously haven't read Leviticus. But that's about it, right? Most animals are devoutly hetero and straight and damn happy about it, right? Wrong." - Seth Anderson

Awesome. "The following is the complete text, directly transcribed, of the portion of Sarah Palin's resignation speech available on video. The text is accurate and unaltered; a portion of the speech is missing from the beginning because the video does not start until then. The lines have been transcribed, however, in the form of vers libre poetry, which seemed appropriate under the circumstances." - Seth Anderson

"Retreat, hell!" snapped Major General Oliver Prince Smith, commander of the 1st Marine Division, with which he had fought on Guadalcanal, New Britain, Peleliu, Okinawa (TIME, Sept. 25). "We're not retreating, we're just advancing in a different direction" Wait, you mean Sarah Barracuda Palin flubbed a quotation, again? She needs to stop letting Trig vet her speeches - Seth Anderson

"I used to joke around with John McCain during the campaign about coming jogging with me. And once I asked him what his favorite exercise was, and he said, 'I go wading.' Wading. He lives on a creek in Arizona, so he goes wading. That cracked me up." - Seth Anderson

That a company as rich and powerful as Goldman would stoop to peering through the web version of a locker-room peephole to make a few extra pennies either front-running random trades or somehow using visitor data “not for their benefit” shows how completely and utterly morally absent this company is. There is not an ill-gotten dollar they will not chase, no matter how small or insignificant the sums might be. Word should be spread about this and anyone who used the Goldman 360 portral for trading should seriously investigate this situation, as it is entirely possible you’ve been ripped off … More to the point, the fact that Goldman is getting enough public pressure that it feels it has to respond to these queries shows that the company is reeling. And the fact that their public statements have been so hilariously transparent and clumsy shows that they’re rattled and don’t know how to handle this kind of heat, which they’re not used to getting - Seth Anderson

"What I found was, the photos contained in the email were full-resolution 2048×1536 photos, not the puny 800×600 photos that get sent via the “Share” method." basically, use copy/paste - Seth Anderson

Every time I look at Friendly Joe's awesome caipirinha making instructional Flickr page, I get a mighty, mighty thirst. "Caipirinhas are the Brazilian national drink. That said, we won't conject on the overall condition of the Brazilian populace at large. No worries- They're refreshing and the weather's warmin' up - Follow these simple guidelines and you'll be ready to samba in your neighbor's flower beds in no time... " - Seth Anderson

Woman: “Who the FUCK are you? And why are you eating our pizza?” Kosuke: Well our friend came in and told us there was free pizza at the bar. We are. So. Sorry. It was a misunderstanding. Woman: (with unbridled entitlement) This is a company party our CEO is here and you STOLE our pizza. Are you from out of town? Because let me tell you, NOTHING is free in New York City. Nothing is free… well maybe except for the condoms in Times Square. Paul and Kosuke continue apologizing. They offer to pay for the two slices. Woman: (didactically snobbish) We don’t want your money. No. Enjoy the pizza, but you can’t steal other people’s things. You can’t take what’s not yours Kosuke: What company do you guys work for? Woman: We work for Limewire. <Long pause> Kosuke’s eyes go wide. Anger festers in his pupils. Kosuke: Oh ok. Well I work at a record label so fuck you. You’ve stolen from us enough. (Bites pizza. Begins to walk away.) - Seth Anderson