Jason Sweeney - FriendFeed

Barking along with "Love Cats" is how you make cognitive dissonance fun.

1 hour ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

No, squirrel. I don't know where your nuts are. And yes, I know that's not a euphemism.

5 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The worst part about anthropomorphizing is tying all the little bowties.

5 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

koalas eat eucalyptus because they lost a bet - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

6 hours ago from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

A cartoon rat dressed as an English yeoman shooting arrows tipped with cheese WELL WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK ME WHAT I WAS THINKING??

23 hours ago from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

You know that asshole that walks around smiling to himself? Sorry.

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

You know those spinning blades they put on the wheels of war chariots? Do they make those for hatchbacks?

yesterday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them, One Ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind them. Marriage vows are weird.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

My pants are covered in ham juice! My cats think I'm a god!

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Have been informed making lightsaber noises does not help.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Snow's so racist.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

More fun facts about animals! http://www.flickr.com/photos...

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

ducks are very considerate lovers - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

Monday from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

I bet Jesus is happy Christmas isn't on his real birthday. This way he still gets Christmas AND birthday presents.

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

And does the clown dentist have to wear full makeup or is the red nose and ball gag sufficient?

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Do clowns all go to the same dentist or can any dentist sharpen their teeth like that?

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

@abigvictory My safeword is "AIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

Monday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

"Validating myself"

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

If the billy goats don't speak up, all we hear are trolls.

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

If the

Sunday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Singing Christmas carols. Now I understand cannibalism.

Saturday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

John Dickerson, Journalist & Handsomeman

Saturday from Flickr favorites - Comment - Like - Share

I just burped in my wife's mouth but I slipped her some tongue so I think we're still a go.

Saturday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Excuse me, but could you make some room for other pedestrians? YEAH. I'M TALKING TO YOU, LION. Pussy. I hate the Yellow Brick Road.

Saturday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

And put your fucking dog on a leash. Where do you think you are- Kansas?! oh shit guy's got an axe brb

Saturday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

... bet if I was Wolverine you wouldn't have forgotten my McGriddle...

Saturday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

elephants are close talkers - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

Friday from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

If they really want to end the war in Afghanistan, they should put it on Friday nights on Fox.

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Oh no! I bought cat food for me and coffee for the cats and the cats called no returnsees!

Friday from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

No, YOU'RE reposting a David Caruso joke oh brb the ghosts of my ancestors are here something about "wasting their genetic legacy".

December 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share