Says the woman who named her daughter PETE!
- Mona Nomura
All I have to say is... both babies... in bed by 8:40. WIN. Mona, when are you coming? :-)
- Louis Gray
Pete is a dainty little flower whose REAL name is not Pete. Although I did dress her in her brother's pants today since she has somehow lost all hers but the dresses (must look in sister's drawers).
- Cyndy
Waiting to hear... both babies... up by 8:55. :)
- Cyndy
cute babies. look super peaceful. sarah on the right seems to have a halo around her little head.
- Cee Bee
Cee Bee, that's Matthew on the right with the halo.
- Rochelle
We now refer to our darling three year old daughter as The Toddler Wind of Destruction.
- DGentry
Awesome! Way to take charge and shake things up, Louis. :-)
- Lisa L. Seifert
Question is, who would you fool first - FriendFeed or your wife? You should post these again without a caption and see if we notice. I bet I'd notice. :-)
- Jesse Stay
Please explain... not sure what you mean...
- Internet's Tad
Calling someone the N-word used to be taboo, now it seems like the other way around. Black folks and others get upset when the N-word is used in certain contexts, but calling someone a racist? "Whoa whoa hold up now, you can't say that"
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Considering I never *ever* use the N word, and I might refer to someone as racist, I would have to disagree here. Racist is also an adjective, rather than a name, as in "boy, is it racist if I stereotype this way", as opposed to the N word which has no right place in my vocabulary.
- Louis Gray
Are you talking about so-called 'reverse racism'?
- Akiva Moskovitz
That's a good point Louis, to clarify, I mean in the context of using it to describe someone. Not just using it in a sentence.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Racist is one of those overly subjective words. A lot of people who wouldn't have been considered racist back in 60s might well be today. I've had people call me racist before just for noting stereotypical behavior. I think "racist" is a pretty useless word - it's over broad. I'd rather say something specific about someone's behavior than just call him a "racist."
- Internet's Tad
I have no qualms using the word racist in either a forward or reverse sense. Then again, I have also used the N-word, including references to the name of Feldman's video, when it was appropriate for the occasion.
- Ontario Emperor
@Akiva No, reverse racism doesn't exist (man i really need to write a post to explain that)
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
I think there are certain parts and implications in both words that provide the same level of disgust when being called the word: nobody wants to be so dismissed and demeaned by a single, solitary word; that someone has boiled down everything about that person and encapsulated in that one word, and in the case of "racist," no matter how true it may be. Heck, look at the reaction to the word "lurker." People want to explain who they are beyond a single term.
- Mark Trapp
An Aryan Nation member is certainly a racist, but more specifically he has a violent hatred of all non-whites and would like to see them forcibly ejected from the US. That says a lot more than just "he's racist." My grandmother was racist, but she was a sweet old lady who wouldn't hurt a fly and truth-be-told one of her best friends in the whole world was the black woman who helped her clean her house. Calling both of these people racist doesn't convey very much information.
- Internet's Tad
It depends on who you're conversing with and who you're addressing as a racist. Some people may look at it and think "quit playing the victim role" and others who really know you will stop and ask the reason why.
- Mona Nomura
@Mark That's along the lines of what I'm thinking. It seems that the shock value has definitely increased because either a) ppl equate racism with only the KKK type groups OR b) folks think racism is a thing of the past
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
I'm glad I bumped this up, great discussion all, thanks for the thoughts so far.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Shey, I agree which is why I used quotes around the phrase.
- Akiva Moskovitz
I like what Mark and Tad said. People don't want to be dismissed with a single word, especially when that word carries such evil connotations. What can you say after that? How can you explain yourself? Or, for some people, how can you live with yourself?
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
I think there is a "Nu Racist" movement or it could be perceived that way with the upcoming US elections. From what i can tell there are people who will think you are racist even if you not just because you don't want to vote for a black person but it's not the person you don't like it's their views
- Cecil Sandus
I think you're right, Shey: like, "How dare you call me racist? How can I possibly be a racist?" With that level of disconnect of what you mean and what that person thinks of the term, I wonder if it's more productive to talk about it in different terms. Any time you reduce someone to a word or a category, it forces a radical reaction: but if you explain that what they said or did was...
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- Mark Trapp
@Mark That's exactly why I'm not quick to use the word (racist). I try to use it as a term to address behaviour, but now it's a word that's used as a derogatory term to label someone.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Yeah, in a way it is because not many people want to be called and/or accused of that anymore for fear of disapproval. Before more people were openly proud of being racist because it was more accepted.
- Sandra Williams
Not that some people don't deserve the label -- I think the problem is that many can't get past the label and move on to address the behaviour.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Defense mechanisms... human nature, no?
- Mona Nomura
Being raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, I've been fortunate to have never experienced racism. But when I moved out East, it was a complete eye opener for me... It was interesting to see how geographic locations make a HUGE difference in people's general demeanors =( How is like up in Canada?
- Mona Nomura
@Mona In Canada it's different. Racism is shrouded and concealed and not overt. It's the big elephant in the room that ppl either don't want to talk about or pretend it doesn't exist.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
absolutely but it is not *new* but now it is given more power because people know about the complexity of the N-word. Humans are racist to a certain extent. I cannot stand ignorance so I guess that makes me racist for not liking ignorant people. This debate will NEVER end and people are going to argue for centuries about this the N word, racist and every -ism that exists.
- Jennifer
I grew up in Mississippi - an extremely racially charged environment. I went to high school less than 20 years after integration. My high school was 90% black. I wasn't part of, but certainly grew up with black culture in the 80s. That was an interesting experience. I think I ended up with a much greater appreciation for "black culture", whatever that is, than most of my white friends that I've met later in life. I think it gives me a rare view of both cultures - at least how it was then...
- Internet's Tad
Sounds generally like the US. I've noticed the 'uneducated populous' displays blatant racism, as opposed to the 'upper class' who do it behind closed doors. The thing people don't realize is a lot of thoughts translate through eyes. I can tell by looking into someone's eyes what they're truly thinking.. =\
- Mona Nomura
@TheJennTaFur You probably mean humans are prejudiced to a certain extent. I agree and sometimes they're not even aware of it.
- Sandra Williams
@Mona - SF is certainly not immune to racism and it surprised me to read that you *never* experienced it here. In fact, many liberals are some of the worst offenders. Subtle forms of racism, which occur everywhere, are probably even worse because you can't easily identify and address them.
- swhitley
the 'r' word is the 'n' word for white people. don't think so? go up to a white guy and call him the 'r' word to his face...and you'll get the same reaction as if you went up to a black guy and called him the 'n' word... if you were white. in other words, you may get your ass kicked. now, i don't recommend trying this at klan rallies, david duke fundraisers, john birch society meetings, nascar tailgaters, or in the smoking room at the country club. and of course, your mileage may vary.
- .LAG liked that
One thing that always comes up (and I wish it wouldn't) is the notion that people in a minority group can't be racists. There's a school of thought that says only the majority has power, and racism requires "power" over another group. I don't agree with that at all. A lot of professors preach it, but it's an academic argument that really doesn't address feelings in the real world.
- swhitley
@swhitley I disagree. Racism IS about power inequality -- majority vs. minority across society as a whole. Reverse racism DOESNT exist -- but can a Black person discriminate against a White person? Yes. Can a Black person be prejudiced against a White person? Yes.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
@swhitley: my definition: anyone can be a bigot. racism is bigotry in a social context. racists are the bigots in the dominant social group. i'm not a professor. or a bigot. i think.
- .LAG liked that
@shey - We'll have to agree to disagree on that point. It's a matter of semantics. I studied it 20 years ago in my black history classes and I still think it's a cop out. Anyone can be racist because racism is simply prejudice based on race. Hell, you can even be racist against your own race. The "power" of a majority over a minority comes into play when racism is used to justify negative acts.
- swhitley
@swhitley Yes we can agree to disagree. But I think there is a distinct difference between racism and discrimination.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
I would say that racism is more the actions brought about by discrimination.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
@Shey - I agree with that. Except, again, neither are confined to a particular group. The main reason I brought up the point is that I think this discussion often sidetracks the real issue. -- A white person calls a black person racist. The black person responds that it's not possible for them to be racist. Blah, blah, blah. The whole, "I can't be racist because I don't have the power," is a rhetorical argument. It distracts from the real conversation. I've seen it over and over again -- and now here. :)
- swhitley
@Rahsheen Porter I agree with you that they're related, but I'd reverse the two. I can be racist and take no action at all. Discrimination requires some action because you are denying something from someone.
- swhitley
Racism just like blacks shouldn't exist! (I swear it's a famous joke by a so generous french humorist) :)
- directeur
from NoiseRiver
@directeur Well race -- it's just a social construct. At the end of the day, we're all human, flesh and blood. Race is just a factor of the power imbalance in the world -- created along ethnic lines.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
@Shey: I'm white but look at my avatar :) I have so much respect for every nice man/woman in this earth. The race things is because we "generally" have eyes. How do blind people "see" the race thing? See what I mean? :)
- directeur
from NoiseRiver
Blind people see the race thing just like everyone else really does, as a cultural values thing. Even blind people know glorifying living in the ghetto and pimpin' hos is probably not a good idea from a social context.
- Alexander Williams
from NoiseRiver
Awesome post, Shey. I'm glad people actually posted about this.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
I had never seen the video at the end... doesn't surprise me though
- Bwana ☠
I have to ask though; isn't this a year old why all the heat now? I had no idea who this guy was until Corvida and You posted about it. Maybe as a black bloggger it would only seem right if i expressed my 2 cents on it too
- Gordon Swaby
Alexander's comment is exactly the problem racism yields. There is no "Black Culture" that glorifies "pimping hoes" or living in the ghetto. What you see on TV, and what is reality are not the same. The idea that Blacks have "lower cultural values" is at the core of racist ideology.
- Jasmin Smith
Gordon, I never saw it recently either, literally a couple weeks ago. Blog away if you like :)
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Key race is the human race! The rest is just details.
- Mark Forman
Somebody apparently dug it up. Probably when they found out about the Verizon deal. I read somewhere that he had pissed of some other people before this, so they could possibly have had something to do with it.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
One of the things I like about FriendFeed is that it proves Loren's video assertion (comical or otherwise) is untrue. That there are black nerds and bloggers and are adding to the conversation. It is very refreshing to me to hear from black people and women on the internet. I like to get a better sampling of "people" not middle-aged white men. All I need for that one is the mirror or listening to my own thoughts.
- Mark Forman
Funny you should say that, Jasmin, because that's the culture black cultural entrepreneurs are selling. Look at urban culture in general and look to who produces it. Largely middle-class blacks from urban homes. If we can't expect they know what best sells to their home communities, who can we?
- Alexander Williams
from NoiseRiver
The comment I made on the Mashable post was that in competitive improv, we were taught never to go for the "easy" humor because it's not respectable and its not sustainable. All Loren Feldman has going for him is an easy laugh obtained from a sea of classless appreciators. He deserved to get this ripped away from him.
- Jennifer Leggio
OK Alexander. Let's look at the So-Called Black Music Industry (Specifically hip hop/R&B. Who creates and markets it... white men... who buys it.. white kids...
- Jasmin Smith
Well said Mark. I need to ask how long ago did he get the "verizion deal"? Because i was watching one of his videos where he was commenting on it and he lauded himself for getting the deal; seemed a tad bit excited, must have been a shame to lose it.
- Gordon Swaby
@Shey, sadly racism is alive and well in America. Your post was spot-on. Bravos!
- Dave Martin
I defy someone to find me another place - online or in the real world - that facilitates conversations like this about topics as sensitive as this. You find me a place where people regularly express the thoughts and ideas that have been expressed above about a topic like this and I will frequent it every bit as often as I do Friend Feed (ok maybe not EVERY bit - there are only so many hours in a day...)
- Marco(aureliusmaximus)
Marco, absolutely - this is why I can`t stop blogging about FriendFeed :)
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
It would be good if my question was answered, please and thank you.
- Gordon Swaby
Thanks Dave, unfortunately there are many who turn a blind eye or will even deny it.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
@Dave Martin Racism is alive and well here in Canada too. Don't even get me started.. especially when it comes to how Canada has treated and continues to treat our Aboriginal people. Sadly, unless you've experienced the negative effects of racism directly, it's difficult to understand the lived experiences of people who are discriminated against SOLELY because of the colour of their skin... not their "lack of moral character" as our friend Alexander has mistakenly suggested.
- Jasmin Smith
Jasmin, you must be living in an interesting parallel world. I think I can say with some comfortable surety at least in the context of Atlanta's hip hop media and entertainment industry that it's very, very predominantly a black enterprise. White kids may be buying it up in bulk, but that's because there are a lot of white kids and somewhat fewer black kids. Thus the term "minority."
- Alexander Williams
from NoiseRiver
Wow.. I saw this friend feed post and it sent me on a wild tangent through the web to Corvida's site and to the TechCrunch article that I somehow missed. Glad to see things come back around regardless of who the target was.
- Adam Helweh
Unfortunately I think Feldman and his "shock jock" nature will try to capitalize on this negative publicity somehow. :-/
- Jennifer Leggio
Alex, I live in Canada, thanks.... but in your country, (America I presume) the Hip Hop industry is overwhelming supported by young white kids, and financially backed by their older white "parents and grandparents." While Black men and women stand as the figureheads in the industry, with the exception of a few big names, the money goes into the hands of the top execs.. who are predominately White.
- Jasmin Smith
@Alexander, I am an artist in Atlanta. I know many other artists in Atlanta. The problem is that these artists talk about what they live. The big record companies help to market and glorify these things. White kids support this industry. The record companies put the black artists in positions where it looks like they run the show, but they are just managers/supervisors...not CEO's.
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
and while we're on the issue of "minorities" -- it has nothing to do with numbers and EVERYTHING to do with which groups hold the POWER in society. Racism is then perpetuated through the maintenance of these power structures along "racial lines" -- promoting stereotypes to denigrate racial minorities, all the while elevate whiteness to "the norm" (intentionally and unintentionally) which further stratifies society...
- Jasmin Smith
Jennifer-who's to say he isn't the one to instigate the Verizon protest issue. It's possible that Verizon deal not so great and he hoped to generate even more publicity through this brouhaha. Hard to say when you're dealing with performance artist that is comfortable using "shock." Anything is possible. Loren might be many things but certainly dumb isn't one of them.
- Mark Forman
@Mark It's quite possible. But hopefully since his notoriety is in limited circles a respectable mainstream business would realize there is more detriment than value to dealing with him. Again, the operative word being "hope."
- Jennifer Leggio
So, if the "black culture" Loren parodies (well or poorly) in his video is created by, marketed by, consumed by, and enjoyed by whites, is it racist then to mock? Because, Hell, it ain't black at all by that measure and any REAL black person'd know he couldn't POSSIBLY be talking about them, right? Or are we assuming that since blacks aren't competent, driven, or cunning enough to...
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- Alexander Williams
from NoiseRiver
With the video at the end. Spot on. Sometimes you get off the hook, sometimes there are consequences. Now he met some.
- Roland Hesz
Alex, your opinion truly illuminates what is wrong with race relations in (the) America(s). Because you, and people like you have ignorantly bought into the stereotypes about Blacks (and no doubt other minorities) you fail to understand the social significance that your type of ignorance causes. It's too much to get into here. I'll sum it up in a blog post later.
- Jasmin Smith
That was great to read Shey. I've felt the same way, all the stuff I've read being posted in his defense stinks of ignorance. How anyone can even stand to watch a single video by the guy is beyond me. His smug expression intolerable. His blatant bigotry is sickening.
- Tsega Dinka
It's really mind-boggling how impossible it is to actually explain race issues to people who have not lived them
- Rahsheen ™, Coach Rah
@Jennifer, We can only hope that Feldman does call further attention to this situation, that he does attempt to rally and in that process out those like thinkers who support his plainly racist notions of humor and entertainment. We can not let this stand. We have the collective power to turn his cavalier dismissal into an indictment. We have the responsibility to call to account any advertiser that supports what is now a history of racist stereotyping for profit. If not us, who? If not now, when?
- Dave Martin
OMG the irony of the video! LOL, yah he's a total loser.
- Trula
@Dave I not once implied that we shouldn't continue to raise the issue. Nor do I have any doubt that Feldman will continue to fan the flames himself. My comment was merely about how I hope he does not profit from the increased notoriety this situation has caused. Not sure where you got the other part.
- Jennifer Leggio
@Alexander No matter how they originate, the stereotypes end up hurting racially. When someone who's just met me jokes about not bringing a crack pipe, or when an Ivy League school president is followed around a store to make sure she won't steal anything, if you can visualize someone being negatively impacted, do you visualize a white person? How about anyone of the same "race" as the one working off the stereotype?
- MiniMage TKDteacher of FF
@Jennifer, by his own hand let him come to be known for what he defends and let his supporters and fellow travelers be named. I learned as a child it was a good thing the KKK sported the cover of sheets, it told us who they were.
- Dave Martin
@Dave OK, I am not nor never disagreed with you. Just think you missed my point. Regardless, we're on the same side, so we can stop wasting Shey's quality convo space. :)
- Jennifer Leggio
Closed circuit to Feldman: A quote by the great philosopher king Mike Tyson seems apropos here, think about it..."Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth."
- Dave Martin
Alexander: "Black culture" isn't monolithic; what you're describing is a substrate of hip-hop culture. Is that substrate unusually visible? Well, yeah... white kids in search of rebellion-by-proxy lap it up, making the artists in question enormously successful, which in turn attracts those in the black community who are starved for signs of economic and societal success. It's a big, complicated puzzle... not a simple matter of glorification.
- Roger Benningfield
@Shey Great post. Thanks for sharing your feelings on this issue. Unfortunately, these discussions just show how far we have left to go and how much we white people have to learn.
- swhitley
Amazed by all the people still saying that it's not racist. As you know it's easy to say when you're not the target of the ridicule.It really doesn't matter because corporate America doesn't like controversy. It's as simple as that.
- Kenya
It seems to me that this is a classic proof that yes, words really do have consequences. Feldman likes to swagger, talk tough, and put on this macho act about how he's the only guy with big enough balls to say things other folks would rather not hear. But now that he's pissed people off enough that there are actual consequences, he says it was "satire" and complains that people are too easily offended. Well, wasn't it part of his goal to offend people? If you're going to play bad boy, play it all the way.
- Nathan Rein
I have only recently come to learn of Loren Feldman - and now I wish I hadn't. I know he works to rub everyone up the wrong way, but his lack of understanding on matters is vapid to non-existent. I hadn't heard of his potentially racist path, but somehow it doesn't surprise me.
- CannonGod
nathan-bingo-like the wise man said,"You can talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?"
- Mark Forman
I'm continuously amused by the number of people who decry Loren's comments as racist and essentially call for his lynching. If we add up the number of people suggesting that black people need protection from such hurtful words with the people suggesting such things should never be said and never be allowed to be said, it becomes rapidly clear that racism may be the issue on the table...
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- Alexander Williams
from NoiseRiver
@Alexander: Feldman has freedom of speech. So do the posters here. What's your point? He has the freedom to be an asshole, these guys have the freedom to call him an asshole...
- Barry de la Rosa
@Alexander Lynching? First off, you'd think another word would have been appropriate. Second, no one is trying to kill him or jail him or hurt him. I don't think any of this is at the level of what he's done to others.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Alexander: I know it's possible you're discussing this in several venues and thus addressing the aggregate feedback you're getting, but no one here is calling for Feldman's lynching, essentially or otherwise. I'm not even willing to call his performance "racist", since I prefer not to attribute something to malice when stupidity will suffice.
- Roger Benningfield
@Alexander So the white people who support Shey's post secretly think Loren's video was okay and are just trying to look good? The logic in that escapes me.
- swhitley
Alexander: I'll let you in on a little secret... if Feldman were some factory worker getting fired because a special interest group protested his off-hours activity, I'd be defending him. Not his actual speech, but his right to express himself without being deprived of his unrelated job. I don't support firing a nurse because she's a cam-girl on her own time, a teacher because he supports gay causes, or anything of the sort. The problem is that Feldman's speech and his job are one and the same.
- Roger Benningfield
Roger, at the point at which 1938 Media goes in as a pre-roll, that's not on his own time. That's business. The same business Verizon signed up.
- Cyndy
Simple and intuitive. To me comments are secondary to the shared item so I am fine with the comment text being lighter than the shared item.
- Atul Arora
Much too light. Maybe too Spartan as well. There is simplicity, then there is too bland.
- Tris Hussey
I'm still worried about the other 230 people who I was following on Twitter who aren't on Friendfeed.
- Veronica Giggey
The comments could be a bit darker. I thought it was messy at first, but now I'm getting used to it.
- Zach Flauaus
Veronica: I agree... I wish there were a way to create imaginary friends in bulk.
- Kenneth LeFebvre
If you use Firefox you can try out the stylish firefox extension and change the comment color and other visual aspects if you wish. (http://userstyles.org/stylish...)
- Atul Arora
I think it looks horrible. It's even uglier than Google's stuff.
- Kim Dushinski
The FF UI isn't too bad. Glad I can interact with it in Twhirl, though.
- Jared Smith
from twhirl
I agree about the text being too light. The fact that I can't easily message someone specific from the profile bugs me too
- Kathy Jacobs
I like the lighter font in the comments. I use a similar setup on my phone. My wife and I cross-sync the calendars on our phones. On my phone I make her events a lighter grey color and on her phone I've made my events the same lighter color so that we can pay attention if we want/need to, but if we don't need to focus on the other's schedule, it isn't too much of a distraction to discern our own events.
- Gregory Pittman
from twhirl
Yes. Darker comment text, a way to Direct Message and ability to change the white background.
- Brenda Young
Atul: Has anyone written a Stylish style for FriendFeed?
- Kenneth LeFebvre
besides the light comments, I like it better than Twitter's UI. I do wish you could "collapse" an entire submission instead of depending on FF's "click to see 10 more" stuff. I do not want to hide the item entirely though.
- Rob Diana
Only because you mentioned it, I realize it now. Yes, it needs to be darker.
- Shey, Jamaican of FF
Hiding the FOAF feature was a lifesaver for me. Weird nav though. Hide an item and then it gives you the ability to turn off FOAF.
- swhitley
It has a grown on me. If they change it now, then I'll have to readjust again.
- Bwana ☠
I miss seeing pictures of people, and the left alignment is annoying. I miss the ability for people to have nicknames. I definitely like Twitter's UI...but I think FF has way more potential.
- Erica Douglass
Actually, I like it; it's Google-ish but clear enough even with a lot of text on the page.
- fbrunel
I like its simplicity...and as a result its lightning speed. I'm sure it can be improved here and there, but overall I hope they stick with what they have.
- Chris Rossini
Comment text is way too light. Also, clicking on a link should open the link in a new tab/window, like Google Reader/Digg. I hate having to use the back button to find my way back to the original link so I can participate in the conversation, when it's much easier to close the tab when you're done and start talking.
- Jeff Brewster
@jeff go to account preferences, check the box for open links in new windows
- Philip Evans
from twhirl
I think it's beautiful, light and easy and simple to read. Perfect as is. I like the lighter text and the white background. simple and elegant.
- Thomas Hawk
@Philip thanks. feel like a noob, but hey that should be the default! :)
- Jeff Brewster
Interesting point on the comment text, though if it were stronger it wouldn't delineate from the posting itself. I concur 100% with Atul's and Thomas' sentiments.
- TranceMist
UI is excellent. Wish I could customize the colors of the text for my page though.
- Jacob Nahin
Simple and intuitive but I wish the organization of items were better...maybe some dividers too for better reading and scanning
- Corvida
@ Kenneth - There are 3 styles for FriendFeed. Actually two of them are for reading Persian i.e. right to left. You can find the styles at http://userstyles.org/styles...
- Atul Arora
Maybe the color of the comments should turn black when your mouse is hovering over a particular entry/comment thread
- Aviv
I prefer lifestream.fm, it seems more about the service and less about stamping its own branding on top
- Andrea Hill