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Josh Hopkins
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If you harnessed my raw sexual energy, I bet you could power an entire city block of Fisher-Price Little People.
Friday
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Planned a romantic evening at home with a nice bottle of wine. Not sure what my wife is doing though.
Friday
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Thanks for the voicemail and for speaking faster than the Micro Machines Guy during the number portion.
Friday
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Thanks for the voicemail and for speaking faster than the Micro Machines Guy during the number portion.
Friday
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So there I was ordering a latte at Starbucks and hating mainstream music, when it occurred to me that I might be too white.
Friday
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I have a wild night planned to remove fuzz balls from my sweater vests and not get laid.
Thursday
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Thursday
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I'm the man of the house and I'll raise my hand to speak when my wife says I can.
Wednesday
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I've been standing in line for three hours for the H1N1 vaccine, which is still better than waiting for Nickelback tickets.
Wednesday
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After I exfoliate, I'm going to have a latte and maybe drive a little faster than the speed limit, because I'm a man, I think.
November 3
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Every morning I wake up, get dressed for work and resist the urge to tie a Windsor Noose.
November 2
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November 1
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I set the clocks back last night and also the bathroom scale.
November 1
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I love to hand out candy to spawns of Satan I mean children.
October 31
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October 31
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Woke up this morning with some pretty bad bed hair and even worse bed face.
October 31
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I blame this bottle of bourbon for my raging alcoholism.
October 30
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The Prison Warden is unhappy with her new nickname, but she should have thought about that before she married me.
October 30
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Eff You Gruber! -
http://vimeo.com/7345725
October 30
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My third nipple doesn't bother most people, but the fourth one usually freaks them out.
October 30
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Celebrating Halloween at work today. My pantless Lady GaGa costume went over like a helium balloon.
October 30
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Celebrating Halloween at work today. My pantless Lady GaGa costume went over like a helium balloon.
October 30
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Godzilla shows an alien time travel can be FUN! -
http://www.flickr.com/photos...
October 30
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The camera may add 10 pounds, but I would say it was probably the bag of candy corn I had for breakfast.
October 30
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The camera may add 10 pounds, but I would say it was probably the bag of candy corn I had for breakfast.
October 30
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October 29
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What's the Blue Book Trade-In Value for a used spouse with minor mechanical and cosmetic defects?
October 29
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My wife's chastity belt Halloween costume is both functional and HEY WAIT A MINUTE
October 29
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It was so thoughtful of me to grace you with my presence.
October 29
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My morning breath is atrocious and honestly, my afternoon breath doesn't smell much better.
October 29
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Best of week from Josh Hopkins
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