Josh Hopkins

The women's restroom attendant always screams at me and never offers a hand towel or even a Black & Mild.

My tomato & me - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

Anyone admitted into the ER with respiratory issues gets swabbed for several types of respiratory viruses and is automatically put into an isolated room. We have to wear gowns and masks in the room with her until the lab cultures come back, which could take up to two weeks. Yippee!

Lucy is still in ICU. Her oxygen requirements have decreased and some meds have been changed and added to see if that also might help.

It's amazing how no sleep and a handful of pills I found locked inside of a hospital medication cart can make you feel.

Thanks for the kind words, everyone. Lucy is doing a little better now in the intensive care unit. I'm counting my grey hairs.

Lucy scared us earlier. She stopped breathing and was in respiratory distress. Had an ambulance ride to the hospital. Currently in the ER.

To celebrate the Leonid Meteor Shower, I'm going streaking.

To celebrate the Leonid Meteor Shower, I'm going streaking.

Too cold to take the baby for a walk, so I put her on the treadmill instead and boy she was really keeping up there for a while.

CNN may have paid Lou Dobbs $8 million to leave the network, but look at all the money they'll save on makeup.

CNN may have paid Lou Dobbs $8 million to leave the network, but look at all the money they'll save on makeup.

I just Chris Brown'd that sandwich.

I just Chris Brown'd that sandwich.

If continually late for work was a basic skillset required for my position, I would be the model employee.

I've heard you can dip a nipple in whiskey to soothe a colicky baby. Mine's pretty hairy, but it's worth a shot.

Stuck shopping with my wife at Bed Bath & Beyond on a Friday night and customer needs assistance with a sharp knife.

Bertelli & Biciclette Assemblate & New York City - http://www.bertellibici.com/product...

Freudian slip. I wanted to say, "Sure, I can work past 5 on a Friday." But instead I said, "You have completely ruined my life."

It's Casual Friday the 13th, but this hockey mask is a tad bit uncomfortable.

You strike me as the type of person who listens to Kenny G Christmas music all year long.

I don't care what my wife says, that was probably the most amazing 15 seconds of her life.

After a week in the hospital, Lucy is finally back home.

It's all fun and games until a family member finds your twitter account.

I haven't shaved in two weeks. I call this growing stage my staff meeting protest beard.

@hoosiergirl Whatever you do, do not eat the placenta. I hear it converts you into Tom Cruise.

It feels so good to be back in my cubicle, because I missed that desperate, impending sense of doom.