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SPONSORED: New Video Game ‘Horrifying’ For Anyone Who’s Never Experienced Terror Of Real Life - http://www.youtube.com/watch...
SPONSORED: New Video Game ‘Horrifying’ For Anyone Who’s Never Experienced Terror Of Real Life
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American Voices: Paul Feig To Make All-Female ‘Ghostbusters’ - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Paul Feig, who directed the 2011 comedy smash hit Bridesmaids, announced via Twitter that he is set to make a new Ghostbusters film that will feature a female-led cast. - The Onion
Infographic: Where Is Kim Jong-Un? - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un has not been seen in public since September 3. Here is the latest speculation on his whereabouts - The Onion
Pastor Always Knew Agnostic Would Come Crawling Back To Church For Wedding - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
LAKE FOREST, IL—Saying he was not the least bit surprised to see the former member of the congregation again, pastor James Bower told reporters Thursday that he always knew agnostic local resident Chris Parker would come crawling back to the church ... - The Onion
Report: Increasing Number Of U.S. Toddlers Attending Online Preschool - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
WASHINGTON—Saying the option is revolutionizing the way the nation’s 3- and 4-year-olds prepare for the grade school years ahead, a Department of Education report released Thursday confirmed that an increasing number of U.S. - The Onion
Congress Waiting Until After Midterms To Address Nationwide Plague Of Hornets - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
WASHINGTON—Saying they don’t want to act too hastily on an issue that deserves a robust and thorough debate, congressional leaders announced Thursday they will wait until after the midterm elections to address the nation’s ongoing plague... - The Onion
Fan Vows To Donate Brain Subjected To Hundreds Of Titans Games - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
BRENTWOOD, TN—Expressing confidence that his act will expand neurological research and ultimately improve the welfare of others in his position, local 52-year-old Luke Holman, who has been subjected to hundreds of Tennessee Titans games for over a d... - The Onion
Man Takes Parents On Tour Of City Where He Came To Escape Them - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
PORTLAND, OR—Pointing out the Portland Art Museum and the farmers market in Shemanski Park as he guided them around downtown, area 25-year-old Daniel Hurst reportedly spent Thursday afternoon taking his visiting parents on a tour of the city he expr... - The Onion
[video] Owner's Box: Ben Roethlisberger Struggling With New City Ordinance That Allows Food Trucks On Field - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Ben Roethlisberger is struggling to maintain focus after a new city ordinance started allowing food trucks on the field. - The Onion
Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
WASHINGTON—As part of a nationwide effort to accommodate women in the workplace, many U.S. companies are now offering female employees permanent, unpaid maternity leave, according to a Pew Research Center survey released Thursday. - The Onion
Old Guy At Hostel Down To Party - http://www.youtube.com/watch...
Old Guy At Hostel Down To Party
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Statshot: What Have We Grown Out Of? - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
What Have We Grown Out Of? - The Onion
Infographic: What You Need To Know About Ebola - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Following the death of the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the United States, concerns about the deadly hemorrhagic virus are running high throughout the country. - The Onion
Infographic: What You Need To Know About Ebola - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Following the death of the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the United States, concerns about the deadly hemorrhagic virus are running high throughout the country. - The Onion
Area Man Self-Conscious About All The Wrong Things - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
MANASSAS, VA—Noting that he’s frequently anxious and embarrassed by his most minor personality quirks and modest physical imperfections, sources confirmed Thursday that local sales associate Walter Markowitz is self-conscious about the complet... - The Onion
Statshot: What Have We Grown Out Of? - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
What Have We Grown Out Of? - The Onion
American Voices: Kickstarter Fundraisers Debut $150 Computer - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
After their Kickstarter campaign raised $1.5 million for the project, a group of entrepreneurs have released Kano, a $150 computer intended for young people aged 6 to 14 that provides owners the materials needed to assemble and code their own customized m... - The Onion
American Voices: J.K. Rowling Not Writing New 'Harry Potter' Book - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Ending widespread speculation that the British novelist was hinting at a new installment in the Harry Potter series by posting a cryptic message on Twitter that read, "Cry, foe! - The Onion
Decision To Circle Parking Lot Produces Carbon Emission That Finally Does It - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
FRESNO, CA—Hoping to get as close to the store’s entrance as possible, local 42-year-old Gregg Wightman’s decision Wednesday to continue driving around the Costco parking lot in search of a more convenient spot reportedly produced the ca... - The Onion
Area Man Patiently Waiting For Humiliating Email To Cycle Off First Page - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
EAU CLAIRE, WI—Hoping for additional emails to quickly arrive and take up space in his inbox, local man Steve Mazza told reporters Wednesday that he is patiently waiting for a humiliating message to cycle off the first page of his email program. - The Onion
Valiant Florida Gators Fan Not Rushing To Judge Quarterback Accused Of Sexual Assault - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
GAINESVILLE, FL—In light of recent allegations that University of Florida football player Treon Harris sexually assaulted a female student, 23-year-old Gators fan Anthony Kedzie reportedly took a brave and valiant stance Wednesday by refusing to pas... - The Onion
Documentary Viewer Can’t Wait To Find Out Which 4 Lads From Liverpool Changed Music Forever - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
DETROIT—Yearning with breathless anticipation to learn more about the hugely influential band, documentary viewer Jeremy Rosen told reporters Wednesday that he could not wait to find out which four lads from Liverpool had changed the face of music f... - The Onion
Man Wishes There Wasn't So Much Blank Room On Anniversary Card - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
NORWALK, CT—Citing an unfortunate lack of preprinted text to assist him, local man Nick McKean told reporters Wednesday that he wished there wasn’t so much blank space on the anniversary card he bought for his wife. - The Onion
Slideshow: Gay Marriage In America: The March To Destroy Traditional Values - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
Gay Marriage In America: The March To Destroy Traditional Values - The Onion
Opinion: Please, Make Yourself At Home While I Silently Count Down The Seconds Until You Leave (by Andrea Boyle) - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
By Andrea Boyle - The Onion
Local Oaf Not Sure What Part Of Counter You Order At - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Appearing visibly confused as he scanned back and forth from one side of the establishment to the other, a local oaf was reportedly unsure which part of the Hilltop Deli counter he was supposed to place his order at Tuesday. - The Onion
American Voices: Study: Teens Sexting Before Engaging In Sexual Activity - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
A study from the American Academy of Pediatrics found that “sexting,” or the sending of sexually explicit text messages, has become increasingly common among adolescents, with researchers determining that one in four teenagers had sent such me... - The Onion
American Voices: iPhone 6 Prototype Removed From eBay - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
An eBay listing for an iPhone 6 prototype that was accidentally mailed to a customer in place of a regular iPhone 6 was taken down yesterday after bids had surpassed the $100,000 mark, leading many to suspect that Apple pressured eBay to cancel the online... - The Onion
Michael Phelps Banned From Having Any Contact With Water For 6 Months - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Calling the three-time Olympian’s recent arrest for driving under the influence a blatant violation of the organization’s code of conduct, USA Swimming reportedly banned Michael Phelps Monday from having any direct o... - The Onion
Report: 43% Of Party Invitations Unprovoked - http://theonion.com.feedsportal.com/c...
TUCSON, AZ—Claiming that millions of unsuspecting recipients are caught off guard each year, a report released Tuesday by researchers at the University of Arizona found that 43 percent of all party invitations are entirely unprovoked. - The Onion
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