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Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion | The Onion - America's Finest News Source -
March 4, 2012
"Overturning 2,000 years of religious doctrine, an out-of-breath and visibly flustered Pope Benedict XVI announced Sunday that the termination of unwanted pregnancies was now "completely and perfectly acceptable in the eyes of God." Following a wild night on the town, a frantic Pope Benedict XVI proclaims that "not every life is sacred." The divine proclamation, which contradicts prior teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, was reportedly made by Pope Benedict after a late night phone call to his Vatican residence." -
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