Ubqtous

"This is the official "I have nothing worth writing about" vanity card. It will run whenever I have nothing worth writing about. Don't be surprised to see it quite a bit. From now on, when our schedule requires me to deliver a new card and I'm empty, I'll simply say, "Run one-eleven." A check of the one hundred and ten cards I've already written will quickly demonstrate that I should have written this card a long time ago. Why didn't I? Vanity. I had become vain about my vanity cards. I was determined to write a new one each week because, well... I'm just that kind of guy. But I'm older and wiser now. I know when I have nothing to say. And that knowledge is freedom. Freedom from the constant need to win your approval. And more importantly, freedom from the obsessive and relentless need to end each vanity card on a joke. Glenn Beck is sober." - Ubqtous from Bookmarklet

"Remember when they told us that the city of Zion, last remaining stronghold of humanity, was powered with geothermal energy, a fancy term for heat from the Earth's core? And remember how the evil robots had those giant drill machines that could tunnel through rock like it was paper mache? Well, then congratulations are in order because you've just proved that you're smarter than the most advanced AI program in the futuristic world of The Matrix. There's really no excuse for the evil computers to keep trying to fuel their giant death machines with human farts when they have a whole planet full of warm, molten, earthy energy goodness just waiting to be tapped. It's the equivalent of powering New York City with millions of hamster wheels in hamster factories all over the planet, only these hamsters have a tendency to escape, organize and try to murder you in your sleep." - Ubqtous from Bookmarklet

"There is an insidious movement afoot intended to deceive our children. I'm talking about the claim that movie stars such as Tom Cruise walk all by themselves. This so-called Theory of Ambulation is being foisted on our kids, and it's time we Stationists fought back." - Ubqtous from Bookmarklet

"Search Engine Optimization is not a legitimate form of marketing. It should not be undertaken by people with brains or souls. If someone charges you for SEO, you have been conned." - Ubqtous from Bookmarklet