Victoria Marinelli

The HS drama teacher who came to class with visible cocaine residue in her nostrils & wore a coke spoon necklace now teaches 3rd grade. Yay!

Just because the kids are at camp doesn't mean we shouldn't get lollipops. Bank teller FAIL.

The irritation of having your joke recycled by one person is quickly replaced with shame on realizing you first heard it from somebody else.

Hey @funnyslide! How much of a douchebag could you possibly be? Ordinarily, when someone follows, unfollows, and refollows me on Twitter several times within a short period, I quickly block them - but I became morbidly fascinated by your particular tenacity in using this idiotic strategy to gain followers (“if at first they don’t follow back,... - http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Photo: Hey @funnyslide! How much of a douchebag could you possibly be? Ordinarily, when someone follows,... http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Digging holes in the back yard. Not, alas, burying his poo in them. - http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Photo: Digging holes in the back yard. Not, alas, burying his poo in them. http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Happy birthday @jagosaurus: amazing photographer and keenly observant cultural commentator/snarkstress. Also, friend.

If only we could train the puppy to bury his poo, while leaving his chew toys accessible *above* the earth in the back yard.

The fiscal gymnastics just performed to make rent nominally within our landlord's grace period should qualify me for the US Olympic team.

"What part of 'you married a crazy bitch' do you not understand?" The convenient thing is, I win this argument no matter what.

When the fly in the cafe pesters me and not the unshowered white dude with dreadlocks, I flirt with atheism.

Constantly nagging your followers to register for Favrd and/or demanding stars is a uniquely privileged and obnoxious form of panhandling.

In the boonies. It smells like pig poop and Republicans.

@hodgman Wait a bit. President Palin will reprovision EPA resources, ensuring such complaints are resolved. Yay America!

If you're wondering when would be an apt moment to solicit a "brumsky" from your spouse, right after he dials his mom is not it. Apparently.

Henna’ed. - http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Photo: Henna’ed. http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Neighbor didn't return husband's friendly wave. So rude! Well, maybe he stumbled upon this: http://twitter.com/vmarine...

To the dude at IMDB recommending Rob Schneider's "The Animal" as a "date movie" - you've never actually touched a boob, have you?

Going crazy from missing how much my kids drive me crazy.

@poeks Also how far you can launch (what?).

I'm a little over halfway done with my book outline, but because Sarah Palin is such an awesome inspiration to women I think I'll quit now.

Sending care package to kids at camp. Include whoopie cushion Y/N? - http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

Photo: Sending care package to kids at camp. Include whoopie cushion Y/N? http://vmarinelli.tumblr.com/post...

(However, at said stampede, I did NOT obtain a $50 iBook, because I was too busy giving juice boxes to weary kids. I do mob behavior wrong.)

I was at the stampede @gruber referenced here: http://daringfireball.net/linked... so I guess I can cheapen myself even further with a single #moonfruit toot.

"Attorney General trains law enforcement in human trafficking." I think cops are corrupt enough. Do they really need such "how-to" training?

1. He gets mad when I recommend him, or others do in reference to me. 2. Been awhile since we had a good anger-fuck. 3. Follow @ThunderDolt.

@srslainey You just have extra-intuitive ears because I was *thinking* about your being awesome.