Weird Ralph - FriendFeed

Politicians are in a panic over a "government sea crustacean." I guess all those years of shellfishness are catching up.

March 5 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Attention MSM: What the heck are government sea crustaceans, and how can they possibly be crippling our economy?

March 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I wonder if Hugh Hefner has one of those cute little bunny feet hanging from his rear-view mirror for good luck. #justsayin

March 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I wonder if Hugh Hefner has a severed bunny foot hanging from his rear-view mirror for good luck. #justsayin

March 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I tried getting a severed bunny foot for good luck. In hindsight, the Playboy club probably wasn't the best place to look.

March 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

So, someone told me that if I tweeted #teamfollowback that I'd get more followers. Does that actually work? Stay tuned, true believers.

March 3 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

When I was a kid, I had an atheist praying mantis for a pet. It still prayed, but it felt like a hypocrite.

March 2 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

So, what does an atheist mantis do?

March 2 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

UT's butt-chugging debacle could have been averted if they'd started with a Hiney-ken instead of a full-on Tour de Franzia

March 2 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The WeirdRalph Daily is out! http://paper.li/weirdra... ▸ Top stories today via @cathymccaughan @FrankMurphyCom @chrisdotson

March 1 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

News Essentials is out! http://paper.li/weirdralph ▸ Top stories today via @p0ps @JCinQC @mayorsam

March 1 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Did you hear about the constipated composer? He couldn't finish his last movement.

March 1 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

If a 2% cut in spending wrecks your economy... you're doing it wrong. #BlameSequesterDay

March 1 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

My son: Daddy, I'm hungry! Me: You're NOT hungry - you just ate a Happy Meal & 2 hot dogs! Son: But that was a whole HOUR ago!

February 28 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

In the interest of better health, I'd like to say 'Tag to everyone today. (Because 'Tag is a "guten-free" greeting!)

February 28 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I've been diagnosed with two sleeping disorders: pets and children.

February 26 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

gravityx9 liked this

RT @iowahawkblog: a "jobs bill" is to jobs what Buffalo Bill was to buffaloes. #DavesLaws

February 25 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

I've decided I might see "Life of Pi" now that I know it's not a documentary about how Michael Moore maintains his weight.

February 25 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Household Tip #37: Use damp paper towel to wipe up broken glass shards. Any remaining shards can be found by walking over the area barefoot.

February 24 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The WeirdRalph Daily is out! http://paper.li/weirdra... ▸ Top stories today via @jacklail @kimhansardstar @The_Fool_Monty

February 22 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

News Essentials is out! http://paper.li/weirdralph ▸ Top stories today via @Telebuddy @kshaidle @kplo

February 22 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Nikon just announced a new camera - the DX7100. http://www.bhphotovideo.com/indepth...

February 21 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

How come windshield wiper makers can't (or won't) make a blade that wipes as well on the return as it does on the upstroke?

February 20 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The WeirdRalph Daily is out! http://paper.li/weirdra... ▸ Top stories today via @danthompson_TN @brianhornback @jacklail

February 15 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

News Essentials is out! http://paper.li/weirdralph ▸ Top stories today via @beads2string @edparnell @cobioscience

February 15 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

RT @kimhansardstar: Coincidence? MT @WVLTBob Cruise ship Olympic athlete charged w/murder. Meteor hits earth.Most amazing trifecta of bizarre stories ever?

February 15 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The WeirdRalph Daily is out! http://paper.li/weirdra... ▸ Top stories today via @FrankMurphyCom @The_Fool_Monty @NoJudgingWords

February 8 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

News Essentials is out! http://paper.li/weirdralph ▸ Top stories today via @zwriter @AlRojoVivo @THEREALKIASHINE

February 8 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

After I told my 8-year-old son to wipe off his face this morning, he just looked at me with a blank expression....

February 4 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

The WeirdRalph Daily is out! http://paper.li/weirdra... ▸ Top stories today via @TearsaSmith @kimhansardstar @FrankMurphyCom

February 1 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share