YoYo_P - Likes - FriendFeed

I'm assuming some kind of music video. This is a popular dance/activity of some kind...I think in Jamaica. There was an epidemic of broken weiners as a result. (this is not a joke) - Rah-PM 2012

...what in tha?! - JA Castillo

Dude should invest in some knee pads... And they BOTH need to wear a cup! - FFing Enigma

I can't stop watching for the shear "UHHHH" factor. This is POPULAR??? - Zach Flauaus

The really scary part? There are more ladders in this scene. - Steven Perez

That's gotta leave a mark - Rodfather

lmao! - vijay

What did you score his dive, though? - Bryan R. Adams

6.9 on the Richter scale. - Steven Perez

this is from eric wareheim's new video. http://vimeo.com/5936810 - Marie

I'm going with an 8. His legs clearly separated during the aerial pelvic thrust and his arm placement was clearly off before the landing. - Rah-PM 2012

He was going for a single axle mount. - Bryan R. Adams

Dude...that video is just...WTF. I thought I'd seen it all, but they're just blatantly miming all types of innapropriate shit to the nth degree - Rah-PM 2012

That video made my netherbits hurt just watching it. :-/ - Hookuh Tinypants

Beautiful madness ... - Amani

Aha! Context! Major Lazer video. The video has to be pants down the greatest music video of all time. - TINY REPTILIAN PYROMANIAC

you're doing it wrong. - Josh Haley

O__O - AJ Batac :)

He's no Jeff Hardy - Outsanity

I can't stop watching it!! - Penthouse Magazine

Frog splash off of a ladder?!?! Hilarious. - Andru Edwards

Jeff Hardy would have done a 450. - Andru Edwards

o_O - Steven Perez

LOL@Steven. How the heck did you end up digging this up?! - Rah-PM 2012

Oh sure, but let's see his dismount. - Joe "Brrzzzzzzt" Pierce

So this is how you break a bed. - Jimminy, CoG of FF

Of course, the one time the search function works ... :D - Steven Perez

It was called "daggering" in Jamaica when it hit the news awhile back: http://jezebel.com/5213000... - ωαřмaiden ☆TeamOtto☆

Probably hasn't been heard of since because you can actually BREAK YOUR WINKY! Which is highly disturbing to me. Hence why I would never even think of doing this. I treasure my winky, along with a relatively small number of other individuals. - Rah-PM 2012

Also see http://jezebel.com/5234308... - in particular, "Just when you were getting over the horror of daggering, a video of extreme dancing to reggae music shows a man jumping off of an 8 foot column on to the crotch of a woman.Oh yeah: And then he throws a table at her." - ωαřмaiden ☆TeamOtto☆

This is why my Guyanese half and my Jamaican half have issue with each other. LOL. - Rah-PM 2012

I actually came over here to see if Kam was okay. And I get an education ... ;-) FF FTW. - Auntie Buttinsky Botts from iPhone

LOL - Rah-PM 2012 from Android

Shevonne

FF, Is everyone who lives in the states hit by the tornadoes accounted for?

April 28 - Comment - Like - Share

YoYo_P, Derrick, rowlikeagirl and 6 other people liked this

thought I'd be waking up to a real mess, but looks like we were bypassed here in Upstate SC - G Dub of the Carolinas

8 more comments

I'm glad! - Shevonne

its sad, seems the wrath of God is swirling around on the US side !! - Peter Dawson

"Alabama's state emergency management agency said it had confirmed 131 deaths, while there were 32 in Mississippi, 15 in Tennessee, 13 in Georgia, eight in Virginia and one in Kentucky." - Shevonne

@Shevonne, thats only ysterday..what about the destruction that the storms caused last weekend ? - Peter Dawson

The total has gone gone up significantly to 202 dead confirmed! It's just devastating! - Jenny

ABC News just said 210 now. - Rochelle

Oh goodness, the total is now at 232! It just keeps getting worse! - Jenny

=( - Shevonne

I am so sorry to hear the number has gone up.. !! Hope and pray that the last we hear on numbers :(- - Peter Dawson

Derrick

Feeling groggy....can you get TOO much sleep? #gettingreadyforfinals

April 28 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Lix, Kirsten, YoYo_P and 3 other people liked this

quick, somebody engage D in thoughtful conversation *is not the obvious choice for this* - Michael W. May

I feel like this must be why people drink coffee in the morning. - Derrick

Shevonne

Without rest, eating healthy, and sleeping right, you can never write your best.

August 17, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Roberto Bonini, RAPatton, YoYo_P and 4 other people liked this

Dang. I'm kinda screwed, then. - Michael R. Bernstein

Hahahaha Michael, you can still do it ;) - Shevonne

Shevonne

Going on my first bike ride w my son. So excited #fb

July 29, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Valley, Jenny R, ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!) and 2 other people liked this

Oh wow! Have fun! - YoYo_P

Derrick to Derrick's feed, Foods

Get Juicy, Slaw-Covered Burger Goodness from Le Pigeon in Portland, OR - http://aht.seriouseats.com/archive...

July 16, 2010 from Bookmarklet - Comment - Like - Share

Laura Norvig, Andrew C (✓), Chieze Okoye and 7 other people liked this

"Their burgers are made with eight ounces of Cascade Natural Beef ground in-house, grilled with flames-a-plenty, and topped with Tillamook four-year aged white cheddar, grilled pickles onions, iceberg lettuce slaw, housemade aioli, housemade ketchup, and housemade Dijon mustard on a grilled ciabatta bun from Ken's Bakery. For sides you can choose between crispy pan-fried potato chunks or a salad of mixed young greens." - Derrick from Bookmarklet

Yum! I want some. - YoYo_P

Valley

Real friendships go through trials. I hate when people dance around issues. Get things out in the open. We'll draw closer.

July 15, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

YoYo_P, Scoble, Alex Scoble, Victor Ganata and 6 other people liked this

And if you don't draw closer, it might be a sign that this is a friendship that isn't meant to be - Just Katie

7 more comments

True. true. true. - Valley

I know lovely people who are afraid to discuss the elephant in the room. They'd rather close their eyes hoping the problem will go away. - Valley

I know them too...sigh... - Just Katie

i was told that these people had a problem with me. i thought of ways to delicately address it, but they started speaking to me again--as if nothing was wrong--before I approached them about it. - Valley

I have a friend from high school that still hasn't address an issue we had in 1998. I've let it go but it comes up in conversation once in awhile and it's just brushed until the rug. Odd...she doesn't acknowledge it at all. So odd - Just Katie

Odd is right like a pink elephant with wings floating around as we speak. - Valley from iPhone

Exactly. I may be a wuss but I'd rather talk things out and deal with the confrontation that's possible than not say anything at all. - Just Katie

right. me too. - Valley

Valley

32 years old & momma still calls me her baby.

March 10, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Kol Tregaskes, Joe The Sausage, RAPatton and 3 other people liked this

aww - Shey

8 more comments

I'm pretty sure it will always be that way (my mom is the same way) - Chieze Okoye

Awwwwww! you know they will always be our babies, Mines hate it when I say that to them(lol) - YoYo_P

Geez I am 60 and my mom still buys me underwear for Christmas -- it never goes away. - Brian Sullivan

@ Brian(lol) are you serious? - YoYo_P

Yeah for real. - Brian Sullivan

LOL Brian - Valley from iPhone

we are always little kids to our parents. - Joe The Sausage

It is so sweet to hear. I have been trying to get her to say "youngest" for the longest. I does feel good that she resists. - Valley

There was a good Winter Olympics commercial on this theme. All the athletes are shown as kids and the tagline is something along the lines of what Joe said. - Chieze Okoye

Valley

Terri's Hat & Scarf - http://www.flickr.com/photos...

February 22, 2010 from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

Anika and YoYo_P liked this

Valley

February 20, 2010 from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

Vicarbott and YoYo_P liked this

Valley

February 21, 2010 from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

YoYo_P and ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!) liked this

Mona Nomura

Any female who says she is ok with being a "friend with benefits" is lying to themselves. Stop it, you're worth more.

May 2, 2009 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Raecheal, Dawn, Melanie Reed and 65 other people liked this

Bah! FWB is an awesome state of being. - Sparky, lurking

191 more comments

Finally someone is talking the truth. Some straight talk is just what some people need IMHO. Thanks for putting your words down. - David Damore

When it comes down to it, everyone wants to be loved and feel secure. The sooner you figure that out, the sooner you'll be happier. ;) - Mona Nomura

Having had a few of these who were actively dating other people and easily moved on when they found someone they actually wanted to be with, I'm going to have to disagree. Yeah, there is some physical and general some emotional attraction, but it is still possible to separate sex from love. The problem comes when you remain good friends (with benefits) for too long, eventually the wires will get crossed, especially the more you go through together. - xero

There is nothing wrong with actively dating, but just the "friends with benefits" is a load of crap. EVERY female is worth more than a quickie at 3am with no cuddling and day time outings. - Mona Nomura

@Mona: Who says she has to get the quickie, the cuddling, and the daytime outings all from the same person? - Roger Benningfield

...but why can't one just enjoy being loved in the moment? - .LAG liked that

No one, Roger - but clearly that's what she is looking for. :) @.LAG In the moment is great... in the moment, but when the moment extends to longer moments, and longer moments, and even longer moments, it's human nature and a necessity that with love, comes trust, security, friendship, etc., etc. And if those needs aren't met or balanced, the drama ensues LOL - Mona Nomura

Mona, are you saying that a woman is not capable of having a purely sexual urge that needs to be met without a romantic emotional urge attached to it? - xero

true but it goes both ways. One person always wants more than the other in those situations and it's not always the lady. - Anna Lynn M.

Xero - yes. @Anna: But why wouldn't she want more? What was she (or he) doing with the other person in the first place? ;) - Mona Nomura

...Mona, it's that "drama" that keeps relationships interesting...and viable. - .LAG liked that

Oh boy. I have close to zero tolerance for drama, I'm all about stability. Been there, done that, no thanks! Perhaps that's where we differ. ;) - Mona Nomura

"more" is unattainable. - Anthony Citrano

I loathe drama. Completely. - Jonathan Hardesty

...some times, you just don't want more from that person. It's fun and that's all it is. It's not that you feel less worthy of a "real" relationship...some times that's all you want to deal with because there are other things in life going on. But you definitely have to be a very secure person to really honestly be ok with that kind of relationship..just my 2 cents. - Anna Lynn M.

I think you may be projecting then Mona, considering this huge sexual revolution that women have been on for years, and my past experience, past friends, and psychological studies -- I'm going to fully disagree. It has been suggested that there is a genetic component to the women who can not separate the two feelings, but the studies I've seen have all shown overwhelming evidence that... more... - xero

Ack, drama. I have a 20ft no drama radius. I suggest everyone acquire one. ;) - xero

Xero - That's what I've been saying, you just worded it differently LOL. And I agree with the drama. Been there, done that, no thanks. ;) - Mona Nomura

Mona, your comments sound more like a fuckbud than friends with benefits. Real FWB are friends more than anything else. - Sparky, lurking

So what happens when one wants more than the other? Or starts to get attached? It's human nature, the longer you spend time with the person, you want to have something tangible and solid. As a female, if we set the tone with "friends with benefits", that's how the man will only see you as: "friends with benefits" or you'd end up as last resort. :( - Mona Nomura

But it's not that it's not possible, it's just that people put themselves into those relationships without setting down ground rules, either personal ones or consensual ones. Then things change over time sometimes, maybe they get to know each other better, etc. Sometimes one of the people actually wants to be romantically involved with the other and they accept the other arrangement as a way to bide their time. Those situations will NEVER work out. - xero

Honesty is always the best policy. And most of the time, people are not honest with themselves and or each other -- that's when things (feelings) get imbalanced and one party ends up getting hurt, mainly the female, more often times than not. - Mona Nomura

Agreed, Mona. It's usually one person who gets more attached than the other, or there's some kind of failure to communicate that happens somewhere along the way. For all my talk, I'd probably get too attached the fastest. :P - Jonathan Hardesty

You're not the only one, Jonathan! ;) - Mona Nomura

Heh. For all my "walls," I am kind of easy like that. Hence the need to create walls. :P - Jonathan Hardesty

I want a friend with benefits. Waaaah! - vimoh

what? - Pokai

Nobody ever actually *wants* a friend with benefits, those occur when you're in a situation in which something is preventing you from having a continued relationship. Most people actually just want someone they can booty call as needed, a "fuck buddy" if you will. You have to remember that a FWB situation only generally occurs naturally if two existing friends decide that the other "will do" for getting out sexual frustration. - xero

Like I said, the idea of FWB appeals to me. Right now it's more of a sexual thing than a relationship thing. Now, whether or not that would work or turn into another long-term thing remains to be seen. But there's something to being with someone for however long... - Jonathan Hardesty

Are you sure that you're not looking for a casual relationship (dating with no expectations or long-term plans) instead of FWB? - xero

Could be. I dunno. - Jonathan Hardesty

God I'm so not keeping up with this convo. Mona - if one wants more than the other then you talk about it like adults. People do actuall want friends with benefits - often when I'm single I hook up with close friends who are also single. We don't want relationships from each other beyond our close friendship but hey - why not party with your pants off once in a while? It's all about communication and having fun with your friends. - Sparky, lurking

Sex can be a beautiful act of love between two people. It can also just be sex. Mind blowing, toe curling, swinging from the chandeliers sex. - Sparky, lurking

@Sparky, the original comment was concerning females. I believe I know most all men can separate the two - physical sex/emotional sex. I cannot separate the two. - Janet-The Bottley Crue

Why can't you be loved by one person, and FWB with a few others? - Chris Charabaruk

Way to stir up the mob Mona ;) - Tony C (Unrated)

I tried that randomly sleeping around thing. It didn't work out. It's possible I just so happened to only sleep with chicks that wanted to put a ring on it though...LOL - Rah-PM 2012

Personally, or empirically Chris? Personally, it's not whether I can or can't separate sex and love, it's that I don't want to separate sex and love (or perhaps better phrased as "lovingness"). If I'm scromping with someone I'm trusting them with my life and that's not something I take lightly. For me to have that kind of trust of a person, I had to know them well and by the time I know... more... - FFing Enigma

I was just trying to be humorous. That said, some people are better at separating sex and emotions than others... I've met guys where they go hand-in-hand, and I've met girls who could only love one guy, but have no problem sexing up anyone else. - Chris Charabaruk

Really, it's just that some folk don't particularly see these things as having to go together. TBH, I'm one of them. Just the way I am. - Chris Charabaruk

Mona, what you say is true...for Mona. But to impose your standards on others is presumptuous at best and intolerant at worst. Recast your remark substituting for "friends with benefits" the words "lesbian", "bottom", "sex worker", "polyamorous", "mother", "schoolteacher", "single", "childless", "executive", etc., and you'll see that you're denying your sisters the sovereignty to define... more... - Alan Chamberlain

Completely agree with you Mona. - dpurrington

+++Sparky, Chris, tiffany & Roger. - Anika

Mona is right. If you turn yourself into a piece of ass, you're going to wind up with the self-esteem of a piece of ass. In the end, you'll feel insecure, unloved and used. That's just the way life works. People who think they can separate their bodies from their spirits are just fooling themselves. - Dawn

Dawn - if you look at it like that then yes. Having sex doesn't mean you are a piece of ass though. Also: sometimes it's hot to feel used ;) - Sparky, lurking

That's sexist. Why wouldn't you think that a women wouldn't enjoy the same pleasures as a man? Plus, men can be just a "piece of ass" too. - BEX

What's wrong with being sexy? - dpurrington

Women are wired differently than men. Women are psychologically wired to nest with one protective mate. Men are much more capable of having frivolous multiple contacts; they don't have the same pulls on their heart, mind and spirit. Call that sexist if you want to, but I didn't create the biology. - Dawn

Men and woman are biologically different. The sooner we understand why we (males and females) do what we do, life for both parties involved is a lot easier. We (as society) are so hung up on equality, a lot of lines get blurred -- and the sooner we shift mindsets to celebrating (and appreciating!) differences instead of trying to prove we are "just as good or better", the sooner the... more... - Mona Nomura

Alan said exactly what I was thinking. Trying to dictate how or why someone should act sexually, esepecially because of their gender, just ends up frustrating everyone. I hope we're past that as a society. - Andy Bakun

I did it for a while. Sometimes I was happy, many times I was sad, in the end I was pissed off and never spoke to the guy again. I don't really recommend it, but I think it was about all I could do at the time. My options are pretty limited out here in the Midwest. I'm just very fortunate that I finally found my full-blown loving boyfriend after so many years. It took finding the right... more... - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

Kamilah - I am so happy for you :) As for people coming in using words like "dictating" should take a close look at what myself (Dawn, plus a few others) are saying. Otherwise, we are going to keep talking in circles. And sub (jo), I completely disagree with your statement "there is absolutely nothing wrong with women who associate their self esteem with the men or women they sleep... more... - Mona Nomura

Oh most definitely tiffany, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a sexual female. :) sub (jo): self defining self esteem I agree with, but lying to yourselves or delusions is the problem and more often times than not leads to hurt, trauma, and or drama. - Mona Nomura

"any female who says she is okay with FWB is lying to themsevles" sounds like dictating to me. - Andy Bakun

What am I dictating, Andy? I just made a statement. How you react to the statement is not up to me, it's up to you. :) - Mona Nomura

WOMEN HAVE BRAINS, people! We're not just slaves to our hormones and organs in EITHER direction. There's nature, and there's also nurture. This makes for infinite diversity. Saying that all women are the same is just plain irrational. We can come up with our own thoughts that have more influence over our actions and desires than any wiring and that oxytocin stuff. Also, many women AREN'T worth more, because they didn't use their brains to be worth more. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Biological determinism is overrated. Human beings have subverted biological drives for hundreds of thousands of years. Civilization is built on the systematic subversion of these drives. And in any case, there are plenty of examples throughout the animal kingdom where the gender roles don't always go that way. - Victor Ganata

Of course women have brains. But it's also important to understand females tend to react emotionally. Once a female embraces that fact and males understand females are wired differently, things become a lot easier. (For ALL relationships i.e. friendships, colleagues, love, etc.) - Mona Nomura

Who are you to judge what other women think, seriously? What's right for YOU isn't right for all women. Get that straight, and you'll begin to understand. - Jillian York

I think it's important to understand that individual people are wired differently. We're not just all archetypes of our particular gender. A man who believes every man thinks the same is going to be at a disadvantage. I would imagine it's the same for a woman who assumes such things about other women. - Victor Ganata

See? Case in point. Who are YOU Jillian, and why are you so upset with me? - Mona Nomura

Men react emotionally, too. If you haven't seen a guy do a shoutingcussypissy dance in the infield because he let a grounder get past him, or because someone shot him dead in Half-Life, you might have missed something--or you might not. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Mage - of course. I am speaking generally. I know MANY males who are more emotional than females. I am speaking in generalities here. - Mona Nomura

I just found this via someone else's link - you're assuming that women who have the capacity to handle that arrangement are "lying" themselves? I find that utterly judgemental and ridiculous. - Jillian York

"Human beings have subverted biological drives for hundreds of thousands of years." Oh really? Homo sapiens sapiens have only been on earth for 2 of those "hundreds of thousands of years." And "civilization" has only been around a tiny fraction of that. Yes, humans have the power to "subvert biological drives" but doing so always comes at a cost. - Dawn

LOL! Not even worth it! [edit: oh, I suppose that means 2 (100k), not 2 (1000). Phwew! - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

And Mona, my upset isn't directed solely at you but at the generations of women who've had this idea pushed down their throats by other women. You're perpetuating gender stereotypes. - Jillian York

Jillian - that was a rhetorical question. It doesn't matter who you are, everyone is welcome in my feed. I am going to say the same thing I said to Andy. I just made a statement, how you react to the statement is up to you. :) As for your latter comment, I am copying what I wrote above: "We (as society) are so hung up on equality, a lot of lines get blurred -- and the sooner we shift... more... - Mona Nomura

Who cares? People do what they do. We're animals, right? - Tyler Hurst

Jillian, once you get to my age, you'll understand that "women who have the capacity to handle that arrangement" are their own harshest judges as they look back and think "What the hell was I doing?!" I've talked to countless women who see later in life the damage they inflicted on themselves. - Dawn

Mona, if you believe in those differences, then you should also believe in the differences between groups of women. I accept and believe that for you - and many, many other women - a "friends with benefits" situation makes you feel less worthy. For other women - myself included at certain times in life - it makes me feel empowered and complete. You and I fundamentally agree that men and women are different, but I also agree that not all women are created equal. - Jillian York

Oh Dawn, come off it. I'm in the best relationship of my life, and committed - but I would never for a second regret the encounters I've had. Monogamy is not right for everyone; just because you've come to see that later in life doesn't mean that I will feel the same way. I'm sorry for your regrets - I have none. - Jillian York

I'm willing to admit that the percentage off women who can handle FWB may well be lower than the percentage of men who can. However, I just can't let anyone say a woman can't do it. People used to claim that women couldn't be mass-murderers and that men couldn't be nurturing. Nature has examples of males who are wired for one mate for life, and probably has an example of profligate females. We are too complex to pigeonhole. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I agree, MiniMage - I don't doubt that the experiences of those women are true. But I also know countless women my mother's age who remain uncommitted, or who found marriage to be their worst mistake (just like I did). These same people who are coming to accept the differences between men and women should accept the differences between WOMEN. - Jillian York

I don't have any regrets. And being "friends with benefits" is not the same thing as having had one sexual partner your whole life. - Dawn

My stance on monogamy has been changing lately. At this point in my life, I'm not entirely sure I want to "love" just one person, or even have something long term and exclusive. Just thought I would throw that out there. I think that there are women out there who could do FWB, but I haven't met them. - Jonathan Hardesty

I will say though, I haven't met a lot of people, so take that how you will. :P - Jonathan Hardesty

Dawn, not sure I understood that last part or how it pertains to me. - Jillian York

You're confusing what monogamy is. It means having one sexual partner for a period of time. People can be FWB and be monogamous. And when you say, "Monogamy is not right for everybody," and also say you're in a "committed" relationship, your statements are in conflict. - Dawn

"These same people who are coming to accept the differences between men and women should accept the differences between WOMEN." Jillian nails it! Women aren't the same. Look, the "women are made differently" argument is old & tired. It's been used to force women into marriages they didn't want, deny women the right to vote, get an education or own property, and keep girls out of football, baseball and other opportunities. Seriously, I'd like to see that dropped. Women can bear young. Men can't. I get it. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Mage, Women ARE made differently and we are in 2009. I respect the fight and the paths past women (and males) fought to get us to where we are. That said, I still deal with racism and sexism almost everyday -- actually, depending on how I look at it, life could've been horrible for me. I am Asian. I am female. But even if I am called China-girl in 2009, even if I am female, even if I am... more... - Mona Nomura

The problem I have is the implicit devaluation of other people's experiences. How can you assume how much someone values a certain situation without knowing them very well? - Victor Ganata

Mona, you have said that you don't believe in luck. You believe each person determines his or her own fate. However, you don't believe a woman can decide that she doesn't want more than to have a friend with benefits? How do you reconcile this? - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Dawn, I know what friends with benefits means. I've done it, and it worked for me at that point of time in my life. Being committed NOW doesn't conflict with the belief that monogamy isn't always right. We change and develop our entire life, and my philosophy is to go with what feels right at the time and live without regrets. I'm committed now because, for the first time ever in my life, it feels like the right choice. I've also been married, and that felt like the wrong choice. - Jillian York

Victor - Can you put it more simply? I don't understand what you are trying to ask me. @Mage: It's because a lot of females try to live up to the anti-societal stereotypes. Like I keep saying, we are in 2009. Not 1950. - Mona Nomura

Mona, when you render a judgment like that, you're de-valuing people's experiences. My question is, how do you know what a particular experience is worth to another person, without actually knowing the person? - Victor Ganata

Mona, again, that's your opinion, and like Victor said, you're de-valuing people's experiences. Yes, there are women who do certain things to stick it to the man; there are also many women who do what feels right to them. By placing your assumptions on all of us, you're no better than the rest. - Jillian York

Ok. If you say so. We are just talking in circles. But I still stand by my statement and excusing certain behaviors by assigning whatever reasoning only gives justification for people to not re-examine themselves and why they do the certain things they do. :) - Mona Nomura

Hopefully, people can at least understand that Jillian's "do whatever feels good at the time" sexual philosophy creates instability that is very harmful to children, which explains why there have been societal pressures against it. - Dawn

Circles is right. I will have to give up. As for me, I will try to allow each his or her own personhood and right to determine for himself or herself what makes him/her happy, no matter what year it is, no matter what chromosomes he/she was born with. Why? Because no one can truly understand every human mind, and how each one is shaped by his/her experiences. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I'd also be careful about being too categoric about what is "very harmful to children", because a lot less is harmful to children than one thinks (it might not be "very good" but its not harmful) except direct and indirect abuse. And a happy, balanced etc. parent is far better than anything else - Iphigenie

Mona writes: "We (as society) are so hung up on equality". Ah, would that that were true, alas. The fight for marriage equality continues, for example, and a great many in our society are vehemently opposed to it. Until we (as society) are able to tolerate diversity, not simply of gender or race, but of experience, philosophy, sexual response, and beliefs, we should continue to be "hung... more... - Alan Chamberlain

As long as we recognize that it's a judgment call and not an empiric truth, I guess we'll have to leave it at that. - Victor Ganata

i am sure it was prompted by a real life situation, probably watching a friend in a hurtful situation - and in that context it probably makes a lot of sense. If it affects your perceived value of yourself, then goodness! never do it, whatever it is - Iphigenie

Oh of course, I stand by all my girlfriends who get into the FWB (for whatever reason they choose to) and am there when they need a shoulder, Mage. :) @Alan - You're not understanding me, and that is ok. It's not about "tolerating" or "equality". It's about understanding and celebrating the differences. Word connotations automatically lead to offense and defense, which is why there are so many issues that aren't resolute. @Victor - it is the truth. - Mona Nomura

What is the litmus test for something being a judgment call vs an empirical truth? because that test itself is a judgment call - I know this empirically. - Micah

Give me some evidence! n = 1 is a sucky sample size, n =2 only marginally less sucky ;) - Victor Ganata

doesnt it all boil down to expectations? If the girl or guy says they are OK but actually hope for more, then it will be painful sooner or later, and it will affect self esteem, Mona is right about that. If they have no expectations or wish to be more, and just enjoy intimacy now and then, but clearly think of each other as just friends with no expectations, then it can work. The ones I know who do are transient (a couple times then no more) or occcasional (every few months, not more often). - Iphigenie

I can agree with that. Anyone who thinks FWB is a stable situation that can last indefinitely is going to be disappointed eventually. - Victor Ganata

Well Dawn, maybe that's true and maybe it isn't - but I don't WANT children, so that's quite irrelevant. Also, I am with Victor in that FWB is not a lasting situation - but it is one that some women can enjoy emotionally unscathed and perhaps even better for having. - Jillian York

I'm out too, but thank you Mona, for inspiring a blog post! - Jillian York

I have a hard time believing that even men want FWB perpetually (well, except for maybe on FFer), but who actually says that's all they'll ever want? Some men or women could be fine with it for a year or two, or a decade or two. We all have the ability to change our minds, and it doesn't make our previous experiences any less invalid. Yeah, that doggoned little toast-thingy that keeps popping up the conversations dragged me back. I'm really incapable of letting it go. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Hopefully, this thread would be helpful to people reading and understanding all takes to making a choice that is right for them. :) I'm all about self growth, re-examination, and learning from other people! - Mona Nomura

i seriously doubt there's ever been a guy version of this conversation -- "Any male who says he is bothered by being a 'friend with benefits' is lying to himself" -- possibly because most guys would agree. :-D while there are always individual differences, *generally* speaking, men and women are wired differently on this point. this difference was summed up by Woody Allen in "Love & Death." SONJA: Sex without love is an empty experience. BORIS: But as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. - Karim

thus this conversation has always gone. which leads me to believe that biological determinism, in this case, is *underrated* not *overrated* :-D - Karim

Karim, I doubt there's ever been a guy version of "women don't have souls," or "women are too delicate for discussions about politics," or "women do not have the mental capacities for education," or "women shouldn't own property," or "women should stay in the home and serve their men." Thus, your argument is meaningless to me. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Mini, not sure i understand your point. is it that "women don't have souls" and "it's ok to be promiscuous" are both *cultural* differences and not biologically-driven? maybe just my ignorance, but i'm just not aware of any cultures in which promiscuity was acceptable for women but shameful for men. even if there was one, it seems like the number of male-promiscuous cultures outnumber the ones that aren't to the point it suggests biology is the culprit. - Karim

tiffany, i guess i'd agree. my point is that you rarely see guys emotionally conflicted about FWB or promiscuity *as soon as* or *as often as* you see women conflicted about it -- not that men are *never* conflicted about it, nor that women *never* are in the mood for what Erica Jong called a "zipless fuck" in the 1970s :-D - Karim

I agree - orionstarr

Mona, I read your statement, disagreed with it, and then read the comments. Wow, FFers, pretty good job on a sensitive topic. But I don't get it when you deny being judgmental. "I stand by all my girlfriends who get into the FWB (for whatever reason they choose to) and am there when they need a shoulder." Except how could it be safe for one of your friends to come to you? After you've... more... - Daniel Dulitz

It's easier to give people what they want from me, when I understand where they are coming from. Because I know (or made up my mind to) what I know, my friends do not need me to disrupt their peace of minds and or screw with their reasonings behind their actions. I also have nothing to prove to myself or to them so I do not even attempt changing their minds, hence it helps me become a better friend to them. :) And Karim - I always appreciate your thoughtful, witty, and very wise comments. :) - Mona Nomura

Karim, what I'm saying is that people have used "women are different" for thousands of years to deny women this or that. It's just more of the same to claim that no woman can be happy with FWB, just because she's got an innie. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

tiffany, I think you've pointed at the reason for the disagreement here: Surely there is some level of mutual affection and respect between romantic love on one extreme, and, on the other extreme, using someone else as a Kleenex to masturbate into. - Mitch Wagner

+1 MiniMage, Tiffany, and Mitch. - Anthony Citrano

wow 124 comments later and still no agreement :O now thats a shocker - Tony C (Unrated)

LOL Who said men that are promiscuous aren't viewed that way, too. Personally I never go after "players" because more often times then not, they are making up for something they are lacking and I am way out of their leagues. ;) And you guys talk as though we are in 1950 and not 2008. I respect, remember, and grateful of the history, but am not stuck in those times. - Mona Nomura

Mona *blush* thanks... :-D Mini, well, i'm not trying to deny women anything, i'm not even making a value judgement about whether men or women are "right" -- just saying that when you have this huge discrepancy in sexual attitudes that seems to transcend time and culture, the cause *might* be biological not cultural. just because people have used differences (real & imagined) to repress women doesn't mean the (real) differences don't exist or that pointing them out is tantamount to repression. :-D - Karim

Repression might not even be the point, or it might be repression, "Sorry, honey, you can't feel the way you believe you feel, because you're a woman. Whatever you believe about yourself is wrong." Yeah, that might actually be repression. I believe that FWB cannot work for most of us (talking both genders) most of the time, but I would not be so presumptious as to assume it is impossible for any subset of the population for at least a little while. Why the heck do I keep coming back to this? - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I guess the assumption I have a problem with is the notion that biologically-driven is necessarily better. If we stuck to biological drives and didn't act on our higher functions, we wouldn't have civilization. - Victor Ganata

Because you feel so strongly and passionately about it, and I respect that Mage :) @Victor - yes, but take a look at civilization and the various tiers (for the lack of better term) of society and its people. What makes one "better" or "worse"? What makes one believe they are "better" or "worse". Ugh - this is a direction I do not want to go LOL - Mona Nomura

Victor, my assumption is *not* that biologically-driven differences are "better" than culturally-driven ones. in fact the culturally-driven ones are better because they are software, not hardware: a culture can revise or drop a belief that doesn't work. whereas if your hormones tend to make you believe something, that's *hardwired* into the culture. sure, a few enlightened souls might see past their programming :-D but that doesn't always get passed on to the next generation. - Karim

i guess i'm thinking of all the stuff i've read about how complex behaviors later in life -- like whether you're aggressive, or passive, whether you like to build forts or play with dolls, etc. -- is very often influenced by minuscule hormonal changes in the womb. while i'm willing to consider an argument that attitudes about promiscuity and FWB are culturally-generated, it seems more... more... - Karim

Mini, *my* point certainly isn't to repress anyone. don't want to be an apologist for Mona since she is more than capable of speaking for herself :-D - Karim

More than that, it's an oversimplification of biology to believe that just because you have two X chromosomes, you're going to behave a certain way. I could agree with "some", maybe even "most", but certainly not "all". Not everyone has the same hormones coursing through their blood at the same concentrations, and not all of them will respond to the hormones in the same way anyway. Any statement you make about an entire gender is not going to be true for 100% of the cases. - Victor Ganata

Victor, i agree with that. i've tried to qualify things by using phrases like "very often" so it's clear i'm not talking about something being true for 100% of anything. once you've spent some time looking up aneuploidy ("yikes! you can have *five* X chromosomes???") it's clear there is wonderful variation in sexual biology. - Karim

i guess i'm thinking that if women's feelings about FWB and promiscuity are *cultural*, then the men are not getting the same cultural programming. either our culture should instruct men to be just as monogamous and prudent sexually as women, or instruct women to be just as sexually profligate as men. granted there'd be a few people who won't get with the program, but you could probably eliminate most of the cultural difference and most of the age-old argument. - Karim

Karim, yeah, other than the fact that many (but not all) genotypic women can give birth while all genotypic men can't, there really isn't any other behavior that can be exclusively attributed to either gender. - Victor Ganata

if it's *not* cultural -- if being more prudent than promiscuous just comes along for the ride as part of the biological machinery of being a woman -- then there's no end to the difference, really... Sonja & Boris have the same conversation forever ;-) - Karim

Victor, yeah there's no behavior that can be *exclusively* attributed (as in 100%) to either gender, though you really don't need to get to 100% to say that IN GENERAL, girls like doing certain things that boys don't and vice versa. that is common sense. the question for me is whether you looking at cultural differences (that can be changed), or biological differences (that are hard-wired). - Karim

Karim, true, but then we get to the question of whether such a difference is biologically-driven or whether it's a social construct. This question will probably never be answered, but I'm just always wary of blanket statements that preclude the possibility of individual variation. - Victor Ganata

And THAT, Karim, is all I'm saying. One simply cannot truthfully say that 100% of women can't do FWB happily. I'm not saying it can't be true of 51-99%. And personally, I think that if there is a disparity between the percentages of men who can and women who can, it's a societal construct. Thousands of years of women being told that they can not behave the way men do has continued to be extremely effective, I believe. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

The point is: make blanket statements and let people answer if they are or are not the exception. If you keep adding "but"s and "and"s, it gives people excuses to pinpoint blame elsewhere, instead of looking at themselves first. If you know you are the exception, why do you need to prove it? - Mona Nomura

Victor, i think you can address the question. it's hard but not impossible to find evidence of biological programming. you could possibly survey people with a sex-linked monosomy or triosomy, or people who had hormonal exposure in utero for their attitudes on FWB and promiscuity. or survey general population attitudes by level of hormone. much more easily, social scientists should be able to find evidence of cultural effects on attitudes toward promiscuity, if they exist. - Karim

Mage - I'm still really curious as to why you keep talking about repression and societal constructs of males and females. Karim already said he is not and I have stated numerous times I have not. I wish people would examine themselves, their situations, themselves, as well as biological factors to determine what is right for THEM. - Mona Nomura

the sad thing is that after years of research, the results would be published in the newspaper as "Women have greater negative attitude to promiscuity than men," and everyone would go "DUH! Why is Science always telling us things we already know?" lol - Karim

Hahahhahahhahahahaha!! +++++++++++++++ Karim! - Mona Nomura

I know at least 3 guys who were FWB with women, and wanted to actually have a real relationship with them, and the girl reminded them that, no, they agreed to just being FWB. Hanging out was fun, sex is great...but didn't want to move into "official' relationship territory. Are the guys also worth more than that? - Andru Edwards

Dru - that is a question they need to answer themselves. ;) - Mona Nomura

Mona, I missed the part where you said it was possible that some females exist who could possibly do the FWB thing quite happily for a while. I seem to have a really serious reading retention problem today. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

It's somewhere in this thread or one of the other ones... this was a hot topic last night LOL - Mona Nomura

How come the guys have to answer it for themselves, but the women are all, by default, worth more than that?? :P - Andru Edwards

Dru LOL Because females are better than males, of course! KIDDING, FOLKS! - Mona Nomura

Andru, it's a good question! The cliche in pop culture is that it's almost always the woman who sobs to her friends about feeling like a piece of meat, who is left behind when she wants to cuddle, who insists on getting married, etc. and the guy who has the post-coital need to abruptly leave, etc. etc. it's almost certain that those cliched roles are reversed some of the time, and that it's sometimes a *guy* who might need to realize that he's "worth more than that." but i don't know how often. - Karim

Of course it goes both ways. But more often times than not, it is harder for females to... hold on, I already covered this. Need to go look for my comment so I can just copy and paste. - Mona Nomura

the one example of a male in pop culture along similar lines is "Alfie," where the protagonist is a promiscuous male. he slowly comes to realize he should have picked one and settled down. - Karim

No. It's about different methods we communicate. Most of the time, females cling because they really like the guy, thought there was something more (for one reason or another), and is hurt and or angry. And guys, more often times than not, give lame excuses like: "You deserve someone better." Stop that. That just gives false hope. If you tell her straight up: "I am sorry I hurt you, but... more... - Mona Nomura

Sorry but this sounds a lot like Hollywood crap and/or high school garbage. You see all the time in movies and TV shows, but it is really running that rampant? Those three guys I mentioned, that happened we were in our very late teens/early 20s, very immature age. Does this really happen a lot past, say, 21?! - Andru Edwards

YES. - Mona Nomura from IM

Mini, sorry, just seeing your last comment. I am certainly willing to consider any evidence that the difference between male and female promiscuity is cultural if you care to offer any :-) - Karim

fanofnomuristic - pb:

Karim, when I was in college, certain athletes would get together every semester and post a "freak list." It was a horrible thing for a female to be listed there. If a young woman'd had her way with a bunch of them, she made the list. Guys did not make the list. For the most part, this public shaming was not done to, uh, GENEROUS guys. You can't blame this on physiology. The message was... more... - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Mage - I don't think that is culture, but more defense physiology or basically defense mechanisms when people feel threatened. - Mona Nomura from IM

In addition to Mona's other incredible qualities, apparently she is also telepathic :p - Neal "thePuck" Jansons

Mini, that's interesting! though i'm not quite letting go of the biological theory yet. i'm guessing you had an idea that promiscuity was bad *prior* to being shown the "freak list" and i'm wondering how/when it develops. does mom give you the "boys only want one thing" talk? do you get the idea from your friends? are you just born knowing it's wrong? stupid men want to know. :-D - Karim

All I'm asking is why is the normative situation considered superior to the non-normative situation? Why does being outside of the norm require assigning blame or rueful self-examination? It just seems like we're trying to take what is clearly a culturally constructed moral situation, and using vague claims of science to try to pretend that it's completely universal. - Victor Ganata

"clearly a culturally constructed moral situation" <--??? LOL Uh, no. - Mona Nomura

How is it not a culturally constructed moral situation, Mona? All I have seen is you saying that everyone really believes what you believe and that they are lying to themselves if they claim otherwise. Isn't such an accusation inherently disrespectful of another person's thoughts and feelings? How is this different than the Christians who all say that atheists REALLY know there is a god and that christianity is true but claim to be atheists so they can sin freely? - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

I am just asking questions that are way below the surface. Why are you so upset Neal? - Mona Nomura

And couldn't the same kinds of accusations be made of homosexuals? Or of just about anything? Can't I just turn it around and say "Any woman who doesn't believe that they can have a sexual relationship with someone without a romantic one is just lying to themselves"? This is called the "Problem of Incorrigibility"...it is impossible to correct another's internal state. - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

Because you are simply reproducing the same moralizing technique used by every other kind of bigot, but since it is about something you feel strongly about you assert it with no care. I was polyamorous, quite functionally, for 10 years, and my wife and I would not be together if not for having open relationships with other partners when we met. You are taking YOUR way and saying it is... more... - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

Absolutes just don't work for me in most cases. For some women, FWB is a door mat type of scenario - for others, it might actually be their cup of tea. The spectrum of sexual preference is nearly infinite. - AJ Kohn

I'm sorry, Mona, that was rude of me. I need to take a break, I don't want to alienate anyone, especially you. - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

No, it's ok Neal. I see where you are coming from and I am sorry I offended you. I said this up top, but I am going to paste it again: "The point is: make blanket statements and let people answer if they are or are not the exception. If you keep adding "but"s and "and"s, it gives people excuses to pinpoint blame elsewhere, instead of looking at themselves first. If you know you are the exception, why do you need to prove it? - You (edit | delete)" - Mona Nomura

And to add: "We (as society) are so hung up on equality, a lot of lines get blurred -- and the sooner we shift mindsets to celebrating (and appreciating!) differences instead of trying to prove we are "just as good or better", the sooner the lines will become invisible. This applies to other issues, too. i.e. race, culture, class, etc." - Mona Nomura

How about this? When I was 8, I was convinced by older kids that it was acceptable to indulge in some "show & tell" with another. The boy wasn't punished by his parents, but I was severely punished & made to feel like a rotten child ( mother was CRYING). Think this had to leave a lasting impression? Why didn't my chromosomes teach me that this wasn't right in the first place? I believe it's because it's a society thing based on early man's decision to make sure he had control of whose heirs his mate bore. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Mage - I am sorry nobody was there to protect and watch out for you. :( - Mona Nomura

Mini-mage...the reverse happened to me when I was 9-10. A game of "show me yours" with a bother-sister set of my friends from two streets over led to the little girl being treated like trash while her brother and I were dismissed with "boys will be boys" (ironically, when I was later experimenting with boys, I taught that same neighbor boy a thing or two about being boys ;)). I always... more... - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

Thanks, Mona, but I've experienced worse and lived through it. :) The important thing is to note that I wasn't the first, nor will I be the last. We must not dismiss the ramifications of parents' having locked up their girls for thousands of years while letting the boys run wild. There might be a nature component to it, but I am betting on nurture. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Oh, and yes, Karim, I absolutely did get the "Don't let some little boy get you off into a corner," talk from my mother and the "Boys will bring you down," talk from my father. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

I agree with nurture. I finally came to terms with the fact my parents were not around and I learned a lot of stuff the hard way -- experience, and watching those around me. That is why when someone said up there (I think it was Daniel?) that since I Tweeted the above statement, I must be a terrible, judgmental friend. But because of what I have been through, I am exactly the opposite;... more... - Mona Nomura

Mini, Neal -- thanks, those anecdotes are definitely ammo for the cultural difference camp. i'll have to think about this a bit more. roughly 5 years old to puberty is the "latency period" in psychoanalytic theory; i didn't think parents would instill any instruction on promiscuity during this *asexual* period. i certainly never got any, but i'm a boy so what do i know. lol thanks for the (scary, traumatic) peek into the mind of an 8 year old girl. :-D - Karim

@Mona .. what have you been through? - pb:

LOL I have seen anything and everything from top to bottom. And Mage, Neal, I too, thank you both for sharing your experiences. :) - Mona Nomura

NP, Mona, I think social media is actually therapy in a way, at least for me. My wife thinks that I feel more free to be me on the net, even though I am transparent about my identity. She (she's getting her Psy.D., so her opinion is informed) thinks my comfort here vs. my discomfort IRL is about the mode of interaction and my PTSD (I, too, had a seriously screwed childhood). - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

And thanks Mage and everyone else who shares with me in that same spirit of transparency. - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

I have no idea what to say now, so forgive me for not saying much other than I am delighted to have so many fluff-less discussions on FriendFeed. I try to operate on the principle that every experience must shape me, and that I must determine how. - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

That's why I love FriendFeed (in particular) so much. We are able to openly exchange our experiences and thoughts and though we may disagree, at least we still respect each other. That's the kind of friendships I have in real life too, so I am usually weary (or terrified) of other social platforms LOL - Mona Nomura

Indeed. FF is different. Anyone who still think the internet isn't "real" or that "internet relationships are not real" (apologies to MC Lars, Bay Area REPRESENT) need to come to FF and see the depth of some of the interactions. - Neal "thePuck" Jansons from IM

@Mona :] ... but have you seen the yellow elephant?? .....// and, from what you seen, what did you like the best? - pb:

I'm interested in the exchange between Neal ("same language as every other kind of bigot") and Mona ("just asking questions that are way below the surface"). Mona, I felt angry because the typical mode of sexual moralism is to tell people that they're lying to themselves. When I was a child, trusted people told me that I was lying to myself about a lot of things and I believed them,... more... - Daniel Dulitz

+1 Daniel - Chris Charabaruk

+1000 Mona. - Valley

Without determining whether it is cultural or ingrained, and qualifying that this is far from universal, a man avoids commitment because he thinks he might be able to do better, while a woman seeks commitment because she thinks he may be right. :-) This has been an interesting discussion, and I'm not persuaded that we've really solved anything. Those who think women who are ok with FWB... more... - Alan Chamberlain

all i found was a pull quote from Kinsey, "There seems to be no question but that the human male would be promiscuous in his choice of sexual partners throughout the whole of his life if there were no social restrictions... The human female is much less interested in a variety of partners." The fact that he qualifies *human* (and not American, Western, European, Modern, etc.) male and... more... - Karim

Karim, please name one human society that doesn't treat females differently. In some African societies, they mutilate girls to keep them chaste and restricted to one man (they make sure that sex isn't pleasant for them). In China, single mothers are treated like outcasts. I just read that in India, girls have to be home by dark. Do boys get burqas? I just read that in India, girls have... more... - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

just saying all human societies treat women "differently" from men isn't saying much. it just implies that men and women *are* different, which they are. :-) what you seem to be implying is that women are always treated *worse* than men in all societies. is that what you mean? i am not a social scientist, but i didn't think that was strictly true, given the existence of... more... - Karim

and just to speculate wildly, i'd say some cultures demonize "temptresses" because men are such easy marks. lol it is widely believed that it takes more effort for men to be celibate than women, and women are the ones holding back, sexually. (whether this is true is another question.) sometimes the same phenomenon occurs in those quitting any addiction. they demonize the thing they're addicted to (cigarette, drink, woman) rather than themselves for being so weak. [reaches for cigarette & glass of gin] - Karim

I'm not saying women are always treated worse. Remember, I hate when people say what's true of some/most is true of all. In fact, I remember reading that there were some aboriginal cultures where sexual experimentation was encouraged and expected of both girls and boys before marriage. Anyway, I wonder what Sarah Hrdy would say today: http://www.news.harvard.edu/gazette... - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

it's the biological aspect of the divide in (traditional, common) male/female sexual attitudes that makes it so particularly depressing to me. - edythe

Love is like a game...no way love is like a heaven, so hot - Yüksel AYDIN

Wow - how did you find this post?! LOL - Mona Nomura from IM

know if that anit true what is the world coming too. In females self value is so important because most girls have none and that is plan stupided and it makes me so mad so i love this post thank u - Raecheal

$◄ 道 ► D/\\/|I|D ッ$

◄ 道 ► D/\\/|I|D ッ

Chocolate Chip Cheesecake

April 30, 2009 - Comment - Like - Share

shamim, joupy, Mahdieh and 7 other people liked this

شخم - ◄ 道 ► D/\\/|I|D ッ

You have been posting a whole patisserie tonight :) - M F

:D - ◄ 道 ► D/\\/|I|D ッ

Derrick

I just want to let 2010 know that this is my rebuilding year; 2011 is when I actually take over.

January 13, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Mona Nomura, Kol Tregaskes, mohammadk and 20 other people liked this

I will always follow this franchise. - Johnny

8 more comments

good to know! - jbrotherlove

can i buy stock now to get in on the ground floor? - Marie

Josh beat me to it!! - Ayşe E.

I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm never this...pro-active. - Derrick

I totally misread that as "*sticks tongue out at Arse*" - DJF

Hm. I was hoping to take over some time later this year, so my reign may have to be short, bloody, and smothered in secret sauce. - Your Neighbor Steve

I love a man with a plan! - Katy S

I WANT FLORIDA... NO SAN FRANCISCO... AND GRAND CAYMAN WITH NO HURRICANES PLEASE... thank you - MoTO Bott

You can do it!!! - YoYo_P

Shevonne

If I hold the door for you, especially if you are a guy, have the decency to say THANK YOU! #rude http://myloc.me/show...

January 13, 2010 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

Steven Perez, Scoble, Alex Scoble, LANjackal and 8 other people liked this

thank you, even though you've never held the door open for me, i appreciate the thought, thank you again, :) - chaz2b

Damn right, that pisses me off so much - Amy

Mary Carmen

Harvey is the big awesome.

December 30, 2009 - Comment - Like - Share

MoTO Bott, hollyrae, tehKenny and 48 other people liked this

I will now pretend that image does not exist and go back on my diet. - Mary Carmen

20 more comments

SO much fun. - ωαřмaiden ☆TeamOtto☆

Whoo-hoo! Glad y'all got to meet! MC and Colleen doubled Silent 3's IRL FFeeps this year! :) - LB so u no it's real

You BOTH had a Harvey? COOL! - Josh Haley

awesome! - holly #ravingfangirl

Who is that dude with those cute wimmins? - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

what ha3rvey said. Cute. - Bubba Botts

I am so glad you guys all met and had fun. :) - aden {Chickadee}

Did you drink ha3rvey wallbangers? - Spidra Webster

I don't see any food. ;-) - Auntie Buttinsky Botts

Cute pix, though. - Auntie Buttinsky Botts

You all are so cute! - joey

MaryB, we accidentally the whole thing. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

Awwww awesome! - Martha

That's a nice picture of you guys :-) - YoYo_P

Spidra, yes - but instead of orange juice, the key ingredient is Awesome Juice! - Micah

ha3rvey, MC and Colleen - glad you could meet-up. Cool! - Micah

Spidra, I forgot to say this last night, but there was no wallbanging going on. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

You're all so cute! - Shey

:) - ★ Soner Gönül

Harvey, nice multiplying skills so you could share yourself with two beautiful ladies. :) Great pics! - Carmen wBabby

awesome! - SAM

Derrick

Dinner.

August 16, 2009 - Comment - Like - Share

Апофеоз этого психоза, Melissa, Mr Saturday Morning NFG and 43 other people liked this

a thing of beauty is a joy forever - Vicarbott

29 more comments

Thanks, Derrick. Now I'm wanting a steak. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

salivary glands...geysering...must seek help! - Joe The Sausage

Please Brightkite your location post-haste! - Mark Davidson from BuddyFeed

I've only recently found myself as a steak fan, but I've conjured up a pretty good rub, and I think I have a pretty good cooking technique. It's too big though, oh my stars, I ate just under half of it. - Derrick

Sweet-potato fries?! - JA Castillo

You are making me regret ever giving up red meat. - April

Sweet. Potato. Fries. *dies* - Derrick

and to think that up until 15 seconds ago i was full. /droolz - Carlos Ayala

Dude, what's in your rub? I have one I use for short ribs and the like, but I'm not sure how it would work for steaks. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

I'm starting a new diet next week, so I decided to go out on a high note. Tomorrow night is my last bit of drinking for a while. - Derrick

Dude, what's in your rub? LOL - Tinfoil 2.0

Chili powder, granulated garlic, brown sugar, kosher salt, little dried thyme and oregano, black pepper, cayenne, and onion powder. I put it on just before lunch time, let it sit, and let the steak come up to temperature just before putting in the cast iron, which had been in a 450 degree oven for twenty minutes. - Derrick

In a wonderful turn of events, D, you'll get to have steak on Instinct as well. - Jason Toney

That's a lot like the one I use. I have a couple ribeyes in the freezer right now, in fact. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

I want some please!!! - YoYo_P

Whuuuut, JT? I have to admit I bought these for a photo shoot that never came to fruition. The indulgent side of me loves the ribeyes, but the more practical likes the skirt steak. Good to know, JT. Just gotta load up on the veggies, right? - Derrick

yeah, 6 oz steak portion (and lean) plus some veggies and you're all set. - Jason Toney

@Derrick - now I know you are family...sweet potato fries are loved here too! - JA Castillo

Well, damn, JT, that's kinda what I ate tonight. JA, I need to learn how to make mine from scratch; these were frozen via Trader Joe's. - Derrick

The wife cuts hers, places them on a cookie sheet and adds a dash of olive oil atop and then drops them in the oven. Season w/ salt thereafter. It's a bit different and if you are not on top of things, you can burn them, but it beats frying them up! :) - JA Castillo

I think Cook's Illustrated had a recipe for oven sweet potato fries earlier this year. I'll see if I can find it. - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

Damn that looks good. Not to mention a very tasty looking skillet. - Mark Krynsky

Real food for real people. - sean808080

tat is so yummy~~~~~ - natalie

Wow, I just realized neither of my kids have ever had a pork chop before! - TINY REPTILIAN PYROMANIAC

omnomnom - Prosey BUTTONS!

i could go for some of this. probably not til october or something though - Cee Bee

that looks so good! - Anna Lynn M.

Looks Good, but after having a tooth pulled it would be hard to eat......... LOL.... - SCS of the Space Station

nice~~~ - natalie

Derrick

Derrick put a spell on you.

December 10, 2009 from Facebook - Comment - Like - Share

Mona Nomura, rowlikeagirl, Ayşe E. and 6 other people liked this

Shevonne

AHHHHHH Congrats Top Chef Winner!

December 9, 2009 from Twitter - Comment - Like - Share

YoYo_P liked this

Oh I forgot to watch it, who won? - YoYo_P

I promised Andrea I wouldn't spill #lipsaresealed - Shevonne

Valley

December 5, 2009 from Flickr - Comment - Like - Share

YoYo_P liked this

Man you are to funny(lol) - YoYo_P

huh?! yoyo_p that is suave! - Valley

Derrick

My cousins: Run-DMC for Halloween

October 31, 2009 - Comment - Like - Share

Brandon, edythe, RAPatton and 99 other people liked this

x_x - Derrick

45 more comments

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE - Mary Carmen

Fantastic. - Spidra Webster

*passes out next to D* - Yolanda

OMG, this is AWESOME! - Anika

Classic! - Eric

So awesome!! - Katy S

That first shot is too good. - Jason Toney

Fantastic! - Rene, Pro Button Pusher

THAT...IS....AWESOME! - Scoble, Alex Scoble

OMG YES. - holly #ravingfangirl

I just made that first pic of Amare my desktop. - Derrick

oh my goodness. - Melissa

Holy cow, that's awesome! - Rochelle

:D:D:D - iTad

can i share this on FB? - Melissa

Sure thing, Mel. - Derrick

word - suzanne

done. SO CUTE - Melissa

LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! it - Tamara

LOOOOOOVE! - felicious

AWESOME! - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

And that's the way it is. Love it. - Your Neighbor Steve

Sweet! - laura x

like for your cute cousins :) - آریــوبرزن

So much win! <3 - Carmen wBabby

Awesome!!! - Bren from iPhone

niiiice - mike "glemak" dunn

I think if these kids showed up at my house I would give them *all* of the candy I had, just for being so cool. - Bren from iPhone

Love this...that first shot is awesome. - Mark Krynsky

omg, just noticed the little boom box bag x_x - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

IT'S TRICK TO ROCK A RHYME, TO ROCK A RHYME THAT'S RIGHT ON TIME. IT'S TRICKY. T-T-T-RICKAY. - Vezquex

OMG! WIN WIN WIN!!!!! - Anna Lynn M.

AWESOME - Josh Haley

very cool - Zee.

Best costumes I've seen by far. - Ayşe E.

OMG super cute! - EricaJoy

*hands over all candy in Australia* - Mo Kargas

Are these on Flickr? I have to fave them. - Ayşe E.

HOLY AWESOME HIP HOP FLASHBACK. - Que Sarah Sarah

EP-IC! --------> x_x - Live4Emma (L4S)

Nice :-) - YoYo_P

No seriously, it's not even right how awesome this is. there is no more awesome left in the world because this has taken all of it. every last drop. - Hookuh Tinypants

Heh. Going through best of the month and this popped up. And it is. Best. Of. The. Month! - Jason Toney

Awww. I need to call my little shorty cousins. - Derrick

Great! Big choice boy! :) - Alessandro Marocchini

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! - edythe

Rah-PM 2012

I liked it, so I finally put a ring on it. - http://pikchur.com/Fz2

August 23, 2009 - Comment - Like - Share

Paul, @Renchin@, Victor Ganata and 123 other people liked this

Congratulations!! (if I am interpreting this correctly) - joey

65 more comments

Yeah. LOL. I just made it official, like in the Thriller video...except that I didn't turn into a werewolf and chase her through the woods.... - Rah-PM 2012

Congrats!! - iTad

congrats - MiniMage, enterRUPPted

Congratulations to you both! - WoH: Minding her Steves

Congrats!!! - RAPatton from iPhone

Very good, my dear Rah! - Derrick

Congrats, Rah! - Pete D

Congrats to both of you, Rah! - ha3rvey (Hugs 50% off!)

Congratulations! - Spidra Webster

Congratulations!!! - Michael Fidler

Congratulations, Rah! - Micah

Congrats Rahsheen! - Hutch Carpenter

Congrats to both of you! - Jandy

Way to go Rah! Congratulations! - DJ Stevie Steve

Nice work. - Louis Gray

Awesome... don't know her from Eve... But from what I've gleaned from you online. She's got a good guy. Congrats! - SAM

Congrats! - imabonehead

congrats then :) - webosapien (Burcu Tüzün)

Congratulations man :) - LANjackal

Congratulations, Rah! :-D - Kol Tregaskes

Congratulations! - Anne Bouey

Congratulations! ^__^ - Abhishek

"it" ? ;) Congratulations though ! - ɯɥøq sɐɯoɥʇ

*wonders if he should put on leotards, a metallic hand and run up the wall...* Congrats man! - Johnny

Congrats man!!! - Marco(aureliusmaximus)

Congratulations!! :) - Emma

Congrats! - LB so u no it's real

ویدا بیا برات حلقه ازدواج خریده دوستت :)) - Mil∂d

congratulations to you and, um, "it" ;) - Que Sarah Sarah

Congrats! - jbrotherlove

Congratulations, dude! - Daniel B. Honigman

Woohoo! Congratulations! - Ladyepiphanybug

Congrats! - Shevonne

Congratulations! :) - JA Castillo

Congrats. :) - Kevin Winn

Congrats! - MoTO Bott

میلاد :)))))))))))) انگشترش رو دوست نداشتم نامزدی رو به هم زدم :دی - Viva Vida

Oh that's awesome!! Congrats! - Just Katie

Congrats! - anna sauce

Yay! Congratulations!! - Yolanda

Congrats, happy for you Rahsheen!!! - YoYo_P

Congrats, Rahsheen!!! - Live4Emma (L4S) from iPhone

Congrats :) - Rodfather

Not fair that the lady gets to wear a fancy ring before we even do the church thing. What's the point of being engaged if you can't flaunt it? LOL. Thanks everyone :) - Rah-PM 2012

Woot! Congrats. :) - Jen (SquirrelGirl) from iPhone

Congrats! That's fantastic news...! - sean808080

Congratulations! Welcome to the ranks of those of us promised and intended to the love of our lives =) Aloha! - Arleen Boyd

woohoo! congrats! - Leslie Poston

Congrats, Young Sheen! - Bryan R. Adams

CONGRATULATIONS!!!! :) - Susan Beebe

congrats and good luck! :) - Tim Hoeck

Alright, Rah! Happiest best wishes to you both! - Ayşe E.

Congrats! - xero

Congratulations, Rahsheen and Trail! - Anika

Congrats Rah! - Justin Korn

woooooo hooooo! - metalerik

CONGRATS MAN! - AJ Batac :)

So very nice. Congratulations! - Martha

Congratulations!! - Erica Thompson Briggs

CONGRATS!!! - David Cook

Congratulations!! - Harold

Congratulations, Rahsheen! I had a similar thought for Harold when he gave me my ring: "Gee, kind of unfair the guy doesn't get to wear something too until the wedding." - Kamilah Reed (K. Gill)

Congratulations! - Tracy Benham

Way to go... May you have a wonderful life together. - Mitchell Tsai

bump. - Rah-PM 2012

bump^2 - imabonehead