Like is it better to put them in the fridge, or outside, or wrapped in a paper towel, or sacrifice a goat? - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo

(Posted in the form of an avocado man saying hi because generally speaking I have the maturity of a 12 year old.) - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo

Anecdotally, I've put some in a plastic bag with a couple of apples, and that seemed to make the process go a little faster. (Non-refrigerated.) - Jennifer Dittrich

Hahaha! Avocado Man! :D - WoH: Professor MOTHRA

Bananas in a brown paper bag - Johnny from iPhone

You can make almost any fruit ripen faster by exposing it to apples or bananas, which give off ethylene gas. Definitely leave them out of the fridge. Don't put them in the fridge until you're trying to slow down ripening. - Spidra Webster

Many thanks, all! For a perverse second I felt like being scientific about it and trying each suggested method separately for each avocado (along with a control avocado not being futzed with at all) to then establish which method was best, but the problem with that is there's no objective way for me to easily measure the firmness of each avocado, so I quickly realized I'd need a lot more data points to draw proper conclusions. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo

...down to the store to get more avocados, by the sound of it - WoH: Professor MOTHRA

No matter what you decide, I think you should sacrifice a goat. You know what they say: Trust in God, but tie your camel. - Eivind

I thought the saying was: Trust your camel, but tie down your God. - Kristin

I'm sacrificing some chicken and baby back ribs; that'll have to approximate. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo from iPhone

I think babies are considered even larger sacrifices than goats, so that should be fine. I think the sacrificial value is about ten chickens to a goat and two goats to a (male) baby. - Eivind

I have sliced avocados in half & put them in a paper bag for a while to ripen them for guacamole. - Starmama from FFHound(roid)!

If you do your avocado experiment, these people would love to have some evidence: http://cooking.stackexchange.com/questio.... But I suspect the goat is key. - Jenica

The word "avocado" comes from the Spanish aguacate which in turn comes from the Nahuatl word āhuacatl [aː'wakat͡ɬ] (testicle, a reference to the shape of the fruit). - Greg GuitarBuster

lol - Starmama from FFHound(roid)!

Greg, that is good to know. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo from iPhone

Jenica, awesome link. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo from iPhone

Thanks all! Much riper this morning. I went with bananas in a plastic bag. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo from iPhone

good to know plastic worked -- I always heard close up in a paper bag to ripen avocadoes, but almost never have paper bags - RudĩϐЯaЯïan

My goat loves avacados! (She also loves bananas and camels) #butnotinthesameway #asusualiammakingthisup - Jkram|ɯɐɹʞſ

How did it turn out? - Tamara J. from FFHound(roid)!

Isn't San Cilantro that clothing-optional beach in Costa Rica? - Jkram|ɯɐɹʞſ

Tam, turned out very well! I was happy. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo

My working theory is that a plastic bag should work better for short term ripening (like 1 day) since there is no airflow, but a bad idea for longer than overnight because of moisture/mold issues; so for non-urgent ripening, brown paper bags are best. The link Jenica put in earlier had an interesting discussion about why brown paper vs. white paper: No bleach. - Stephen Mack #TeamMomo

I place them in a paper bag, roll it up, and stick it in a corner. That seems to ripen them up nicely after a day (or two if they were really green and hard). - Steve

No ...only the goat sacrifice works.. ! - Peter Dawson

Whether avocados, bananas or apples, I've found that toting them around in the front of my pants causes them to ripen quite rapidly. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) - Jkram|ɯɐɹʞſ

0_o - Joe Silence

I confess that the produce guy does give me a strange look when I make my usual request of two avocados and a large unripe banana. Apparently he's not a fan of mixed fruit. - Jkram|ɯɐɹʞſ